does anyone have intrusive thoughts about animals? I saw a video years ago on Twitter of a dog performing a sexual act on a human (disgusting I know) but sometimes I see my dog and I think about it and it makes me very uncomfortable and not want to lay down with him because I just imagine that happening to me and how disturbing that is

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh

TW warning: ZOCD, real events, and animal neglect. I feel like if I'm nice to animals or think about having a pet in the future I'm being a hypocrite, one of the things i saw at 10-12 years old because of my porn addiction and exposure were horrible videos involving animals, and i had a kitten at 9 years old, i didn't know the responsibility of having a pet, yet i loved my cat very much and when we couldn't take it to the vet because we didn't have money, it came back with wounds, bleeding, i cried a lot and i regretted so much having been so inconsiderate and dumb to ask for a cat when we didn't have money or the appropiate place to keep it safe. My parents refused to take him to the vet or a shelter, and one day it ran away from home and never came back. I feel like i'll never be able to interact normally or have a pet without being a hypocrite. I'm horrible

does anyone else get really vivid intrusive thoughts of the person who you are talking to (or close to physically) just randomly striking you violently? i keep getting them when i’m just talking to my dad one on one in the car & i get a flash of intrusive thoughts of him grabbing my hair & shoving my face in the dashboard. it gets me so anxious :’)