So I'm a bit miffed and wondering if I'm right to feel miffed? I'm a bit drunk w/ my family (aunt, uncle, and gramma are visiting) and my mom spilled vodka and juice on my aunt's expensive handmade purse from Mexico. and I brought out the purse to her immediately because there might be stuff that needs to be removed and cleaned and dried (like a phone) before they get ruined. but I'm naturally clumsy and I am drunk and I didn't want my mom to get in trouble, so I said I was the one who spilled it. I don't make the choice to intentionally lie, especially to someone I love, lightly. It is a choice I know is incompatible with my OCD. But I'd rather be in trouble than get my mom in trouble. And I'd make that choice again. But!! Even though my mom knew I lied to cover for her, she still told my aunt the truth, about who really spilled on her purse. I told her not to and that I covered for her! But she told anyway. I'm upstairs now but I am just a little annoyed because I saw how expensive that purse was and decided for myself of my own free will that I was going to do something not just against my morals but that I knew my OCD would go against and I did it out of love. And it feels like she just threw my gift away. She shouldn't have said anything. That's how I feel. No one's fighting or anything except me and myself and my OCD. I just...would y'all be a bit upset too, or am I acting like an idiot?

So i bought this product last year. The total for all the purchases was 68 dollars. It was a combination of 10 dollar products, 6 of them. Well they forgot one product and wouldn’t send me it/ it took awhile for them to respond and i got annoyed by that. I also thought they sent me expired products but it turns out that wasnt the case. Anyways i emailed about this gave up on trying to find a resolution and asked my bank to reverse the charge. Then i ended up feeling guilty because i found out the products WERENT expired (my OCD was going off thinking they were tampered old, or expired, but after some sleuthing i found out that wasnt the case. They just missed an item. So then i felt too guilty to use any of it. I thought of giving it away at some point and repurchasing or purchasing some similar but different to make up for it. Writing it feels a bit illogical now but… im wondering what to do. Because reversing that bank charge on all of those items seems ridiculous/wrong for only one item but it happened already, a year ago. I think my magical ocd was telling me it was wrong to use and I would taint/ negatively impact anything i used it with because of what i did… or is it guilt because i really “stole” more than they “stole” from me?

17f I don't know if it's very ocd related cause I actually did something wrong but I have another serious year long real event ocd which caused me moral ocd and now I feel extremely guilty because of that thing I'm going to talk about because now I feel like me being a better person after my big event was just a lie if i did this So basically me and my friend were at our other friends birthday and she came with her boyfriend. I saw him like once before and at first I didnt find him attractive at all. But the second time we met before the party (me, my friend and her boyfriend shared an uber to get there) I kinda noticed that he is kinda cute but yk I didn't do anything about it since he is my friends boyfriend. Then I got drunk at the party and when I'm drunk I become way way more talkative and affectionate, so I became more attracted to him. I mean I didn't like full on flirt with him, but later I realized I was purposefully making jokes I knew he would laugh at and enjoyed every piece of attention I got from him, like I would say stuff that I knew would catch his attention without openly trying to innitiate a conversation with him, cause it would be too suspicious or obvious. Now I don't really remember was I actually fully aware that I'm borderline flirting with my friends boyfriend, I mean I wasn't blackout drunk, but I was drunk and it was 2 months ago. I remember when I got sober and started recalling the other night I felt guilty and promised myself that when we meet again I won't repeat it. So here comes another party we are both invited too. It was my friends (his girlfriends) birthday, and it was a bit far away from our town, so we had to take a bus and then also an uber. Since I can't pay with my card my friend was supposed to call and uber for me and I would just pay her back in cash. But she was very busy with preparing stuff for the party so she asked her boyfriend to call me an uber and then text me the details. So I was extremely neutral and short with my answers to him like the bare minimum cause I remembered how I promised myself that I won't initiate anything weird. Then he met me where the uber stopped to show me the way to the house they rented for the party and still while sober I was very neutral with him. Like polite but not overly friendly yk And then everyone got drunk. Especially me, I usually drink a lot at parties and this time wasn't an exception. And again. I wasnt openly flirting with him. And this time I actually didnt innitiate interactions with him a lot at first. But then I got really drunk and me and my friend were joking around how I actually made out with her before her boyfriend did when we played the bottle a year ago. And we were like "it would be funny to tell him". So basically he came in the room and my drunk ass says something like "hey bro fun fact I actually made out with your gf before you got a chanse to do so" trying to tease him. The dude looked shocked and I thought it was funny. But then he kinda pulled me to the side and asked wtf did I mean by that. I didn't really get why is he so confused and said "I mean yeah we did but like it wasn't serious we just played bottle and there was also a bunch of other girls she kissed it was just a game yk" but after I said this he got upset. So he went to talk with his girlfriend and I realized I maybe shouldn't have said that so I texted her asking if everything is okay and apologized for making that joke and messing things up. She responded that everything it's fine and I didn't really mess everything up it was just a misunderstanding. So after we continued drinking they came back and he ended up sitting next to me on the couch and I still felt bad and a bit akward so I apologized for that joke and he said that it's all good he just got it very wrong, he thought I meant that we made out today like at this party instead of a year ago. So drunk me just formulated this very poorly and he who was also drunk understood it in a very wrong way so its fine now when he knows the context So basically apart from this dumb joke drama I also feel guilty for I wasn't really trying to interact with him a lot but I wasn't stopping it if he did? Again he was just being drunk and freidnly and I know he's loyal to his gf and wouldn't hit on me so even if I'm attracted to him and enjoy his attention I'm not stealing anyone's bf? Like that was my drunk logic But I feel so bad now. Especially because of this joke. I didn't make it for sole purpose of grabbing his attention, I genuinely thought it's funny. But still the attention thing was a part of the motive. And then during the apology, even though I was sincerely apologizing cause I genuinely felt bad, I was still kinda enjoying him talking to me??? So yeah not good not only I was kinda crushing on a friends bf I also made him upset because I wanted to talk to him and tease him by making that dumbass joke

Hi. I am going through something really hard right now, and I could use some insight, especially from others who deal with OCD and morality-based spirals. There was a time during a really emotional conversation with my boyfriend when he said something incredibly painful. He said something like he only felt lust for me but did not feel love anymore. I was completely crushed. It felt like everything I believed about our relationship was ripped out from under me. In that moment, I told him that what he said felt like rape. I want to be really clear. I knew even then that it was not a good or accurate comparison. It was not assault. I was trying to express how emotionally violated and broken I felt, and that word came out. I even labeled it directly, not just compared it, and that is what has been haunting me. I feel like I kept going along with it, not because I wanted to lie or manipulate, but because I felt like if I backed down from it, he would not understand the depth of how hurt I was. He didn’t seem to understand any other way. Later, when we tried to be intimate again, I told him not to touch me. And even though a part of me did want closeness, I still felt like I had to react that way, like I had to follow through with what I had said earlier. I wanted so bad for him to understand the impact of his words. That part is killing me. It makes me feel like I was not being authentic, that I was performing a reaction instead of living it. I feel like I acted like a survivor when I was not one, and I hate myself for that. Now, OCD is eating me alive over it. It keeps telling me I am a liar, a manipulator, and someone who cannot be trusted. And it feels so real. But I also know I was hurting. I was not trying to deceive anyone. I was just overwhelmed, desperate to be understood, and probably influenced by years of invalidation from my family over almost everything. I have talked to my boyfriend about it and apologized. He told me he understands and forgives me. But I cannot forgive myself, and I do not know if what I did is forgivable. Has anyone ever been in a similar place? I feel so so awful this was 3 years ago. Now I feel like I can’t trust any of my emotions. I’m analyzing every reaction, past and present, trying to decide if it was “real enough” or if I was somehow dishonest. It feels like OCD has completely hijacked my sense of self. Please help :(