lh2000
- Date posted
- 4y
CM26CM26
- Date posted
- 4y
had two days of clarity and im back to the uncertainty. this post made me realize something though. why would i trust the thoughts im having when im panicking more than the thoughts i have when im calm? just some food for thought.
lh2000lh2000
- Date posted
- 4y
I know I think about that all the time! When I’m panicking I think to myself “but what about when you had clarity? What made you feel the clarity?” But that somehow doesn’t help. It’s terrible.
CM26CM26
- Date posted
- 4y
@lh2000 i feel ya. i woke up having a panic attack this morning that wasn’t even prefaced by a thought. the thoughts came after to make it worse. it’s hard but just take it one day at a time, thats all we can do 💌
lh2000lh2000
- Date posted
- 4y
@CM26 Yeah. I usually achieve clarity by the time I’m going to sleep but then it all comes back as soon as I wake up. It’s like so much lost progress.
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
@CM26 What made me feel better was thinking about how I was already anxious when waking up and so that anxiety is just attaching itself to anything (usually my current OCD theme). So it made me think I’m not actually relapsing or something. ALSO! It obviously still sucks going back and fourth with the clarity (currently in that stage too) but it also made me feel like I’m starting to recover. Because like 2-3 months ago it felt like I was in hell you know? So I’m hoping this is actually a good thing that we’re going through rn :)
AveryKatAveryKat
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s important not to seek that “clarity” or reassurance. It makes the problem worse actually, not better. You might think you had a revelation and that you’ve proved to yourself that your fears are irrational, but the cycle will continue over and over again because reassurance is a compulsion. You need to accept the reality that you will never have 100% certainty that your fears aren’t true. Don’t try and reason with yourself and prove the thoughts wrong. Instead, work on living with the doubt and exposing yourself to the fear of the unknown.
lh2000lh2000
- Date posted
- 4y
I really would like to be able to sit with the uncertainty, but I just can’t. It’s terrifying. I just want to know for sure.
AveryKatAveryKat
- Date posted
- 4y
@lh2000 It’s a difficult process, but necessary for overcoming OCD. I had to learn to accept the fact that I could never know 100% that I wasn’t attracted to animals (zoophilic ocd) and that doubt was devastating because I love animals so much. But ocd will continue to rule your life with doubt, guilt, and fear if you don’t accept not knowing.
AveryKatAveryKat
- Date posted
- 4y
@lh2000 I wish you the best of luck :)❤️
electroloveelectrolove
- Date posted
- 4y
Going through the same right now, I feel you. Just did a pretty major exposure for harm ocd and am feeling like things are real and it’s so distressing. I’m trying not to compulse in any way though
Arranf23Arranf23
- Date posted
- 4y
I keep thinking I have thought of proof in my head of my existential thoughts- and it’s terrifying
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 25w
please read
Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions — I didn’t open NOCD, I didn’t text ChatGPT, I didn’t Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didn’t have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, “This is how the cycle starts again.” That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, “What if this time it’s real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth — that I don’t love him?” It scared me because I wasn’t panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that “truth feels calm,” and now that I wasn’t reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, “What if this is the calm that comes with realization?” Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, I’m scared all over again. When we cuddle, I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel that warmth, and I don’t know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him — because I’ve had these thoughts for so long, it’s like I can’t remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, “Maybe I just don’t like him right now,” and I wasn’t panicking — and that scared me. I’m afraid that I’m finally “realizing the truth,” or that I’ve been lying to myself and I’m just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasn’t really reacting to his love, and now I don’t even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity — but I’m terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?
LizM99
- Date posted
- 24w
Is this something OCD does?
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 15w
The things my brain convinces me of
The things my brain convinces me of are so horrible idk how im going to get through this this time. I feel like I tell my self all the obsessions this episode u don’t even know or you definitely didn’t do but then I just start ruminating on simply the idea of them existing for me to worry abt being enough to keep me in the episode and I can’t even remember them all which doesn’t make sense how I would just forget but ocd makes it make sense yk. Sometimes they feel so real and there is nothing I can do to know and I just want to be happy so bad ik my core values and how I actually feel but it’s just a dark lonely terrifying cloud raining on me all day and night long.
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