Hi, so I haven't been properly diagnosed I have tapping and touching compulsions since I was young but never thought it was ocd and have had different topics of obsessions specially health and hocd. I went to therapy because of intrusive thoughts about hocd and they told me I had to seek treatment somewhere else. I'm not able to do it financially right now so I started getting informed an doing ERP and practicing uncertainty and I don't quite struggle anymore with thoughts but I can't stop thinking about if I really have OCD or not and my mind keeps telling me that maybe I just made it up to be interesting or for attention or to manipulate people around me but I haven't even told anyone but 2 friends and I just need to know. And I'm really confused and scared that maybe I just made it up and started convincing myself that I had it and lying so I could be interesting or to play the victim or something. And I'm also scared that If I get diagnosed I will start telling everyone and live my life around it and just use it so people would feel bad for me or something. But I also want to know if I have it so I can look for the right help and feel okay, but I don't know what to do. Please don't think I'm crazy.

Loomin

Date posted: 4y

Yep, I experience these kind of thoughts too. “What if this isn’t ocd? What if I’m putting it on for attention or to be interesting? What if I’m actually a pedophile or a rapist and I’m telling myself I have ocd to avoid having to confront these things?” It’s confusing and tiring and I’m still not convinced and I can’t help you. But I can tell you that you’re not alone in this, and that no one in this community will think you’re crazy for voicing what you’re going through

Lms526

Date posted: 4y

I have experienced all of these thoughts. OCD is called the doubting disease for a reason. Before I got diagnosed, I was convinced I didn't really have OCD. After I got a diagnosis, it tried to convince me that I was making things up for attention. Then it started telling me ERP wouldn't work for me. Just remember, OCD will latch on to what you care about most. Just because the thoughts FEEL real doesn't mean they are. There are a lot of compulsions in what you wrote. Recovery is possible. I suggest getting a counselor that understands on ERP and specializes in ERP.

Lms526

Date posted: 4y

Sorry. Understands OCD and specializes in ERP

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond