i feel like i’ve been given ocd as a form of karma because i’m such a bad person

Today I kind of snapped and I do feel bad. At Chipotle, a worker wasn’t letting me finish my order and every 2 seconds she kept saying “that’s it?” “That’s it?” Like rushing me, and I yelled, “YES, THATS IT!” I do feel bad because maybe she was having a bad day but I was also frustrated. I do regret it because I need to stay calm in situations, especially because I understand how hard it is to work in fast food, I’ve done it before. I was overwhelmed and frustrated, she kept talking over me and I couldn’t even think about what I wanted next. I’m irritated with myself but I also feel my feelings aren’t wrong, I just handled it in a negative way. Now my OCD has latched on the situation and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I’m an awful person and like I need some sort of punishment, as if having OCD isn’t enough punishment. I did try to call the restaurant to apologize but no one answered. I sent an email with an apology to customer support, I’m not sure if she’ll even get it. I’m having so many ruminating and self deprecating thoughts now. I’m not a terrible person but I feel like I am

Was I a bad person before this life and is God punishing me. Sometimes I think I have a reverse punishment. Like God knew I'd be a horrible adult so that's why I was abused as a kid. I wasn't horribly abused but I didn't really realize I was until my psychiatrist told me I was. I hate myself

cause immense guilt when receiving gifts? Or when someone is nice to you, the guilt just floods every vein of your existence. I feel so awful :( awful about my compulsions, about some of my thoughts, about who OCD has made me. My boyfriend just gifted me something, and I have such a heavy feeling in my chest. Worst part is: when I’m not feeling guilty I’m spiraling over that gift was enough, if it could’ve been “better.” I feel like an idiot. I don’t understand why I’m like this