I’m so confused. When I was first struggling I knew that my obession really wasn’t true and I was just scared of the possibility that it was or that it could become true, but now I feel like I don’t know, like I feel like my mind is convincing me it’s true

Yep, happened/happens to me also. At first I was just scared of the tiniest possibility of such a thing becoming true, knowing that it was ridiculous, ego-dystonic and against all my values. The more I ruminated and avoided objects of my obsessions the less certain I was becoming, my mind overflowing with thoughts, scenarios, analysis of my past/false memories. It's really scary but also a classic symptom. But don't take this as reassurance, sit with the uncertainty, anxiety and feelings of doom, let it pass.