- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I know the feeling. Iām sorry and hope you feel better.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
does anyone else get INTENSE derealization (itās the worse for me when i wake up from a dream in the middle of the night) and itās so bad that it genuinely feels like nothing is real, not even thoughts are real, consciousness is not real, what the heck are we doing on a floating ball in the middle of darkness?? i feel like im in a simulation or a dream. i hate it sm ive had it everyday for 5 years, but tbh im not surprised it hasnāt gotten better because I have gone through some traumatic things recently and have had bad mental health. hopefully it could get better soon idk.
- Date posted
- 22w
TW Iām feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. Iāve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because Iām bombarded with my thoughts. Iāve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and Iām worried that this is just how itās going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. Iām worried thereās going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
- Date posted
- 18w
Lately, Iāve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I donāt understand why. When I look at him, it feels like Iām looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I donāt like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesnāt make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel somethingālove, excitement, even reliefābut instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I donāt feel much. I keep thinking, āIf I really loved him, wouldnāt I feel something?ā And the fact that I donāt just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I canāt remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, āThat wasnāt real, you were just excited to have a relationship.ā And because I canāt access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like Iām hurting him. He tells me he doesnāt feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I canāt just snap out of this and be the way I was before. Itās exhausting. I donāt know whatās real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know thatās a compulsion, but itās so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, āBut what if you donāt love him? What if youāre just lying to yourself?ā I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I donāt know how to get there, and itās terrifying.ā
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