I love my OCD, and I love my compulsions. I just don’t want them to be obligatory.

i don’t want to do my compulsions. I feel like if I don’t somebody will get hurt, sick or die. It’s a very scary thought to feel like if I don’t do my compulsions it will be my fault even though it isn’t & nor will it happen. I know it’s magical thinking & my thoughts are not true nor will they come true. it’s just im so tired of doing these compulsions. im so tired of feeling like I can stop something bad happening if I don’t step on this or touch this 4 times. it even got me believing that if I do something I want to do & love, something bad will happen. I just want to be able to live & feel like I use to. I hate ocd. how can I calm this down so I can be able to navigate in my own life?

My boyfriend is staying the weekend at his parents house for his moms birthday and my ocd was quiet for most of the day and then I had the thought of my off has been quiet so I must not actually love my boyfriend which then just kept spiraling. I did resist compulsions to the best of my ability. I think there’s some mental ones I do as well but idk what they are. Anyway how do you guys resist mental compulsions what could some mental compulsions be?

I think I have mild OCD. Maybe that's why I can't relate to many of the difficulties experienced by other posters. My OCD is more on the compulsion side performing certain rituals at key transitions or points during the day. I honestly cannot figure out what the underlying obsession is other than some kind of weird mental hoarding to acknowledge and cherish a moment but also to protect my family and even my pets. I get little or no anxiety (I used to when I was younger). Even mild OCD absolutely sucks and is debilitating to an extent.