Has anyone else noticed that your ocd will make a conclusion and then you feel awful? I used to watch a lot of true crime (don’t anymore because it’s triggering) and my brain wouldn’t even have enough time to process what was happening in the video before my ocd told me “you don’t feel bad for that person, you’re a terrible person.” But you hadn’t even had time to comprehend what had happened? I’m not sure if this is all over the place. But if you understand and have experienced it let me know.

I have definitely been in your shoes before and even though I am pretty far along in my ocd recovery journey I still get those thoughts. This is pretty much textbook cognitive distortion caused by ocd and that means that 1) you can’t fight those thoughts because that is what gives them fuel. And 2) you have to just take some time to sit and let the thought happen, let your body create a fear response and then let it be, and in doing so you can convince your brain that the thought is not something to be afraid of. Hope this makes sense and good luck!

I used to listen to podcasts about true crime and I used to watch psychological horror and drama and staff but I'm afraid to watch or listen now because everytime i hear about a bad person like a person who raped, murdered, etc, I immediately compare them to myself even though I didn't hurt anyone in my life.

I stopped watching true crime for the same reason. But avoidance is a compulsion. It is a huge one for me. It may relieve your anxiety in the short term, but it will make the intrusive thoughts worse and make your OCD even stronger. Been there done that. More times than I can count.

It's such a vicious cycle, and one I relate to well. My mind immediately starts with the "look how heartless you are, you must be a narcissist like your bio dad" sorta shit. It's exhausting, like I 100% wish I could transfer that spiral into like cardio or something. At least I'd get something beneficial out of it aside from a sad walk to the pantry for emotional support snacks.

This is what I struggle with too. It's throws our statements. And as a compulsion before I even get a thought I'm like idk. And it's not helpful if I haven't even gotten the thought. It's always about horrible things like murder or just mean things.