- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I have definitely been in your shoes before and even though I am pretty far along in my ocd recovery journey I still get those thoughts. This is pretty much textbook cognitive distortion caused by ocd and that means that 1) you can’t fight those thoughts because that is what gives them fuel. And 2) you have to just take some time to sit and let the thought happen, let your body create a fear response and then let it be, and in doing so you can convince your brain that the thought is not something to be afraid of. Hope this makes sense and good luck!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you! I needed to read that ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to listen to podcasts about true crime and I used to watch psychological horror and drama and staff but I'm afraid to watch or listen now because everytime i hear about a bad person like a person who raped, murdered, etc, I immediately compare them to myself even though I didn't hurt anyone in my life.
- Date posted
- 4y
I stopped watching true crime for the same reason. But avoidance is a compulsion. It is a huge one for me. It may relieve your anxiety in the short term, but it will make the intrusive thoughts worse and make your OCD even stronger. Been there done that. More times than I can count.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
No exactly and it's hard watching the shows and doing things that make you so anxious.
- Date posted
- 4y
Good point. I never thought of it as avoidance. Maybe I should try watching, it just makes me a little uneasy.
- Date posted
- 4y
It's such a vicious cycle, and one I relate to well. My mind immediately starts with the "look how heartless you are, you must be a narcissist like your bio dad" sorta shit. It's exhausting, like I 100% wish I could transfer that spiral into like cardio or something. At least I'd get something beneficial out of it aside from a sad walk to the pantry for emotional support snacks.
- Date posted
- 4y
I have the same thoughts about my dad! Just try to remember that you’re not your parents, and their faults make us stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y
@lh2000 100% agreed. I'm grateful my real dad is the way he is, as fucked up as it sounds. It gave me the tools to be self aware for when those thoughts come around. The anxiety still hurts but I try to ground myself by asking "would a person without empathy question if they have empathy and worry?"
- Date posted
- 4y
@Sound Lotus I used that exact same thought process and it really helped me “bad people don’t worry about being bad people.”.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This is what I struggle with too. It's throws our statements. And as a compulsion before I even get a thought I'm like idk. And it's not helpful if I haven't even gotten the thought. It's always about horrible things like murder or just mean things.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve always struggled with maladaptive daydreaming I’ve stopped but I have harm ocd and my brain would hook onto a true crime story and I’d pretend to be a family member/loved one/victim of a k*ller and would make up elaborate stories abt it. That feels so disgusting I’m so scared this shows in a horrible person doesn’t it? And now my brain is telling me I have found k*llers attractive in the past I don’t think I ever did but what if I did I’m scared
- Date posted
- 22w
I can be way too hard on myself and beat myself up over the smallest slip up in regards to OCD. Sometimes it can feel like I'm gaslighting myself on what was "so blatantly and obviously a moral atrocity in thought and intent", when 95% of the time I'm not even sure what my own intent with dealing with these thoughts is or why I do what I do. It makes me feel like some shameless beast for "daring to even entertain the thought of something so VILE!!!" When I just get so confused and scared on moral issues, like my mind is pulled down a rabbit hole I can't escape until the tricks are done on me and it's too late, i've accepted such ideas I hate until that hate and trying to not give in convince me "it might not be that bad". It feels like anything, even the most mundane things can trigger this. This cycle happens mainly because I feel like there's "no way to escape committing more 'attrocities' in thought or compulsion anyway"...and these cycles become the basis for more of these incidents. there a way to stop this? There have been multiple times where I called myself the R word, and even knowing it's a slur I still called myself that because "I'm nothing if not deserving of such scorn". Any attempt to stop the madness makes it worse and it's like all this I talked about is so convincing I dare not question it until after the fact. Please help.
- Date posted
- 22w
So I have harm ocd for sure and I get triggered by some m1rder cases like for some reason my brain gets latched to them and the perpetrators my brain goes ‘what if they’d find you attractive’ ‘would you be one of their victims’ and it feels like they’re watching me, if that makes sense, like they’re watching me, is this a symptom of any type of OCD? Please no judgement I’m super scared and I hate that my brain does this
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