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ValiDATE, haha. Funny! You are deserving of love and happiness! If someone made fun of you in the past, then you should be happy they're no longer a part of your life. That's an awful thing to do and is a lot more reflective of who they are than you. Good luck with the dating! There are still some good ones out there, and I hope you find someone nice and supportive! :)
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Wow your story is powerful and has a lot of meaning we are not to different from one another either, you have fear of rejection and a fear of being hurt,, again this is understandable
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Hey Bryan thanks so much for your response here. I am glad to not be alone, and I am also sad I'm not alone if that makes sense. I hope your day is full of you kicking some ass and doing great things!
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@Sound Lotus I am a controls engineer 👨💻 I Make really good money but I am extremely sad on the inside. Most about my past I feel horrible about something I did when I was younger and I carry immense shame and guilt it drags me down as a human being
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@Bryan I relate to this all too well. I went through some trauma as a kid, which gained my initial diagnosis of OCD. My bio dad said "no he doesn't have it" and it was never really addressed again. It wasn't until some research recently that it clicked into place. Genuinely wish you well bud, if you ever need to vent or just wanna hang and chat please hit me up!
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@Sound Lotus Ok
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Takk! jeg håper du har det bra. (That's about as much Norwegian as I can do haha) I appreciate your kind words. Humor is definitely a coping mechanism of mine. Now I just need to find someone who is into things like anime or writing music and can geek out about them with me!
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Haha wow!👏🏻 That was flawless!😲😁 Thank you!! I hope you are doing good too!💛 There is someone out there for you... never doubt that. It might take some effort to find that special one, but in the end it will be worth it. You've got lots of time, so don't stress about it!!💙
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I am both glad and sad to see someone else in a similar boat. I always joked that if I find a partner, I would want to build his/her style medicine cabinets so we can both take our meds together in style haha. Like as fucked up as it might sound, I think part of me wants to date someone who has OCD or another form of mental illness (who is also in therapy and doing well for themselves) so that we're both more understanding and empathetic with each other.
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@Sound Lotus I am 35 why do I struggle so bad with my past or my sexual past? Why is OCD so hard on me for trying something I just wanted the thoughts to stop the gay thoughts I didn’t enjoy them I didn’t enjoy the experience either but like my OCD tells me that women will “judge” me for it and I am not “good enough for love” or good enough for a woman 👩 I had all these things swoop down over me at 16. I was also molested by a man when I was 6. So I feel horrible
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@Bryan Honestly man I get it for sure. I know I said some similar things above but I went through the same thing but at 5. I didn't know how much that would impact how I view myself most of my life. Genuinely wishing you peace friend.
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@Sound Lotus I have to change I can’t just give up on myself and life
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@Bryan As a person who also has trauma along with my OCD I have so much empathy. It’s like a shit pile. There is someone out there for you and maybe there are some women who would hold judgment but that is not most women and that would just obviously not be the right woman for you. I also think many (most?) people go through some questioning of sexuality as a kids/teen. We with OCD just latch onto it and think it’s not “normal”
Related posts
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- 25w
I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.
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- 24w
So I’m really struggling to believe that anyone will want to be in a relationship with me and still love me when they find out about my pocd and intrusive thoughts. I am holding a belief no one can love me with this condition and they will be repulsed by me when they find out. I just don’t know how to shake that feeling and be brave enough to try and share with anyone I’m dating.
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- 16w
I want to get thought this weird horrible period, it has been horrible. I am doubting everything. I’m not diagnosed but when I look at my past I’ve always been horribly anxious and worrying about health, death and basically everything while suffering from major a lot of insecurities stemming from bullying and lately a lack of intimacy with my partner, Every time I think I’m on the way out, or see some light at the end of the tunnel my mind always pulls me back in. It’s torture. I’ve always been insecure about how I look and I find myself comparing myself at other males and it’s made my self esteem on the floor. I have a girlfriend and prior to this we had a future planned and talked about kids (we’re still young, but it felt so real), this all began to bubble when we stopped being intimate and the loss of my job. I don’t know anymore how to move on, every day feels like a chore. The intrusive thoughts telling me I’m in denial, constantly thinking about men I’ve felt insecure about their looks compared to mine wishing I looked like them plaguing my mind. The false attractions, prior to this i was comfortable in acknowledging good looking men. However now my mind takes this as evidence, every single thing in my past seems like some form of evidence. Not having male friends, the comparisons, being questioned about my sexuality from siblings. I’m sorry if this is reassurance, I am just needing to get some things of my chest. Every time I think about my first real attraction or girls I found pretty/attractive or I liked my mind is like your in denial and then I feel horrible about thinking those thoughts as I have my girlfriend. I miss just being with my girlfriend and not having these thoughts and feeling horrible. I feel like a fraud and a horrible partner. I’ve tried to accept maybe, maybe not, but something always comes back. These 4 months have been terrible. I want to sleep without horrible dreams, I want to eat. I want to feel like myself again. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Hope you’re strong too.
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