I just wanted to vent for a moment. But I'm so scared of being unable to find love. I'm 31, and have abstained from a LTR over the years, as I was putting too much on partners for validation and reassurance. I might as well have asked them to valiDate me. I am at a point of healing now where I think I am ready to re-enter the dating world but I'm fucking terrified. What if they find out about my intrusive thoughts and find me as disgusting as I find myself? I want to be human, but I've never been able to think of myself as such. What if they make fun of my past like my first real significant other did? I hate these thoughts. They're so terrifying. And I feel so alone. Which is where I tell myself I need to be, even if I don't want to be here. Thanks for listening.

Wow your story is powerful and has a lot of meaning we are not to different from one another either, you have fear of rejection and a fear of being hurt,, again this is understandable

Hey Bryan thanks so much for your response here. I am glad to not be alone, and I am also sad I'm not alone if that makes sense. I hope your day is full of you kicking some ass and doing great things!

@Sound Lotus I am a controls engineer 👨‍💻 I Make really good money but I am extremely sad on the inside. Most about my past I feel horrible about something I did when I was younger and I carry immense shame and guilt it drags me down as a human being

@Bryan I relate to this all too well. I went through some trauma as a kid, which gained my initial diagnosis of OCD. My bio dad said "no he doesn't have it" and it was never really addressed again. It wasn't until some research recently that it clicked into place. Genuinely wish you well bud, if you ever need to vent or just wanna hang and chat please hit me up!

@Sound Lotus Ok

ValiDATE, haha. Funny! You are deserving of love and happiness! If someone made fun of you in the past, then you should be happy they're no longer a part of your life. That's an awful thing to do and is a lot more reflective of who they are than you. Good luck with the dating! There are still some good ones out there, and I hope you find someone nice and supportive! :)

Takk! jeg håper du har det bra. (That's about as much Norwegian as I can do haha) I appreciate your kind words. Humor is definitely a coping mechanism of mine. Now I just need to find someone who is into things like anime or writing music and can geek out about them with me!