- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
ValiDATE, haha. Funny! You are deserving of love and happiness! If someone made fun of you in the past, then you should be happy they're no longer a part of your life. That's an awful thing to do and is a lot more reflective of who they are than you. Good luck with the dating! There are still some good ones out there, and I hope you find someone nice and supportive! :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Wow your story is powerful and has a lot of meaning we are not to different from one another either, you have fear of rejection and a fear of being hurt,, again this is understandable
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey Bryan thanks so much for your response here. I am glad to not be alone, and I am also sad I'm not alone if that makes sense. I hope your day is full of you kicking some ass and doing great things!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sound Lotus I am a controls engineer 👨💻 I Make really good money but I am extremely sad on the inside. Most about my past I feel horrible about something I did when I was younger and I carry immense shame and guilt it drags me down as a human being
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bryan I relate to this all too well. I went through some trauma as a kid, which gained my initial diagnosis of OCD. My bio dad said "no he doesn't have it" and it was never really addressed again. It wasn't until some research recently that it clicked into place. Genuinely wish you well bud, if you ever need to vent or just wanna hang and chat please hit me up!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sound Lotus Ok
- Date posted
- 3y
Takk! jeg håper du har det bra. (That's about as much Norwegian as I can do haha) I appreciate your kind words. Humor is definitely a coping mechanism of mine. Now I just need to find someone who is into things like anime or writing music and can geek out about them with me!
- Date posted
- 3y
Haha wow!👏🏻 That was flawless!😲😁 Thank you!! I hope you are doing good too!💛 There is someone out there for you... never doubt that. It might take some effort to find that special one, but in the end it will be worth it. You've got lots of time, so don't stress about it!!💙
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
I am both glad and sad to see someone else in a similar boat. I always joked that if I find a partner, I would want to build his/her style medicine cabinets so we can both take our meds together in style haha. Like as fucked up as it might sound, I think part of me wants to date someone who has OCD or another form of mental illness (who is also in therapy and doing well for themselves) so that we're both more understanding and empathetic with each other.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sound Lotus I am 35 why do I struggle so bad with my past or my sexual past? Why is OCD so hard on me for trying something I just wanted the thoughts to stop the gay thoughts I didn’t enjoy them I didn’t enjoy the experience either but like my OCD tells me that women will “judge” me for it and I am not “good enough for love” or good enough for a woman 👩 I had all these things swoop down over me at 16. I was also molested by a man when I was 6. So I feel horrible
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bryan Honestly man I get it for sure. I know I said some similar things above but I went through the same thing but at 5. I didn't know how much that would impact how I view myself most of my life. Genuinely wishing you peace friend.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sound Lotus I have to change I can’t just give up on myself and life
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bryan As a person who also has trauma along with my OCD I have so much empathy. It’s like a shit pile. There is someone out there for you and maybe there are some women who would hold judgment but that is not most women and that would just obviously not be the right woman for you. I also think many (most?) people go through some questioning of sexuality as a kids/teen. We with OCD just latch onto it and think it’s not “normal”
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve been single for a very long time. I’ve always attached really heavily to people and highly prioritized being in a relationship. I know I can be happy on my own but sometimes all i can think about is how I wish someone loved me like that, it consumes my entire brain. For that reason Valentine’s day feels pretty sad to me. I’m gonna have to stay off social media so i don’t see people posting about how much they love their significant others because i know it’ll make me spiral. Also since it’s valentine’s day i keep having intrusive thoughts of my loved ones having sex and it feels really gross.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond