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- 4y
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- 4y
ValiDATE, haha. Funny! You are deserving of love and happiness! If someone made fun of you in the past, then you should be happy they're no longer a part of your life. That's an awful thing to do and is a lot more reflective of who they are than you. Good luck with the dating! There are still some good ones out there, and I hope you find someone nice and supportive! :)
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- 4y
Wow your story is powerful and has a lot of meaning we are not to different from one another either, you have fear of rejection and a fear of being hurt,, again this is understandable
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- 4y
Hey Bryan thanks so much for your response here. I am glad to not be alone, and I am also sad I'm not alone if that makes sense. I hope your day is full of you kicking some ass and doing great things!
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- 4y
@Sound Lotus I am a controls engineer šØāš» I Make really good money but I am extremely sad on the inside. Most about my past I feel horrible about something I did when I was younger and I carry immense shame and guilt it drags me down as a human being
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@Bryan I relate to this all too well. I went through some trauma as a kid, which gained my initial diagnosis of OCD. My bio dad said "no he doesn't have it" and it was never really addressed again. It wasn't until some research recently that it clicked into place. Genuinely wish you well bud, if you ever need to vent or just wanna hang and chat please hit me up!
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@Sound Lotus Ok
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Takk! jeg hƄper du har det bra. (That's about as much Norwegian as I can do haha) I appreciate your kind words. Humor is definitely a coping mechanism of mine. Now I just need to find someone who is into things like anime or writing music and can geek out about them with me!
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- 4y
Haha wow!šš» That was flawless!š²š Thank you!! I hope you are doing good too!š There is someone out there for you... never doubt that. It might take some effort to find that special one, but in the end it will be worth it. You've got lots of time, so don't stress about it!!š
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I am both glad and sad to see someone else in a similar boat. I always joked that if I find a partner, I would want to build his/her style medicine cabinets so we can both take our meds together in style haha. Like as fucked up as it might sound, I think part of me wants to date someone who has OCD or another form of mental illness (who is also in therapy and doing well for themselves) so that we're both more understanding and empathetic with each other.
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@Sound Lotus I am 35 why do I struggle so bad with my past or my sexual past? Why is OCD so hard on me for trying something I just wanted the thoughts to stop the gay thoughts I didnāt enjoy them I didnāt enjoy the experience either but like my OCD tells me that women will ājudgeā me for it and I am not āgood enough for loveā or good enough for a woman š© I had all these things swoop down over me at 16. I was also molested by a man when I was 6. So I feel horrible
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@Bryan Honestly man I get it for sure. I know I said some similar things above but I went through the same thing but at 5. I didn't know how much that would impact how I view myself most of my life. Genuinely wishing you peace friend.
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@Sound Lotus I have to change I canāt just give up on myself and life
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- 4y
@Bryan As a person who also has trauma along with my OCD I have so much empathy. Itās like a shit pile. There is someone out there for you and maybe there are some women who would hold judgment but that is not most women and that would just obviously not be the right woman for you. I also think many (most?) people go through some questioning of sexuality as a kids/teen. We with OCD just latch onto it and think itās not ānormalā
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I want to get thought this weird horrible period, it has been horrible. I am doubting everything. Iām not diagnosed but when I look at my past Iāve always been horribly anxious and worrying about health, death and basically everything while suffering from major a lot of insecurities stemming from bullying and lately a lack of intimacy with my partner, Every time I think Iām on the way out, or see some light at the end of the tunnel my mind always pulls me back in. Itās torture. Iāve always been insecure about how I look and I find myself comparing myself at other males and itās made my self esteem on the floor. I have a girlfriend and prior to this we had a future planned and talked about kids (weāre still young, but it felt so real), this all began to bubble when we stopped being intimate and the loss of my job. I donāt know anymore how to move on, every day feels like a chore. The intrusive thoughts telling me Iām in denial, constantly thinking about men Iāve felt insecure about their looks compared to mine wishing I looked like them plaguing my mind. The false attractions, prior to this i was comfortable in acknowledging good looking men. However now my mind takes this as evidence, every single thing in my past seems like some form of evidence. Not having male friends, the comparisons, being questioned about my sexuality from siblings. Iām sorry if this is reassurance, I am just needing to get some things of my chest. Every time I think about my first real attraction or girls I found pretty/attractive or I liked my mind is like your in denial and then I feel horrible about thinking those thoughts as I have my girlfriend. I miss just being with my girlfriend and not having these thoughts and feeling horrible. I feel like a fraud and a horrible partner. Iāve tried to accept maybe, maybe not, but something always comes back. These 4 months have been terrible. I want to sleep without horrible dreams, I want to eat. I want to feel like myself again. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Hope youāre strong too.
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- 22w
I apologize I post here a lot lol. I have a few questions/I want to vent about this. My therapist and I have identified one of the triggers Iāve been trying to work on, which is my fear of never being good enough; for myself, my family, my friends, for my romantic relationships, and just in general. Honestly, I hate myself so much. Not for any reason in particular, but I overanalyze everything I do and let it consume me. I know this is normal for most people, and everyone goes through bouts of self depreciation and lack of self love. Iām trying to give my love to myself that Iāve always given to other people and itās so difficult. Itās really funny, I need male validation even though I feel like I can never trust a man ever again. I was broken up with at the beginning of April, and so you can imagine how my self worth really has been feeling. Iām aware my self worth isnāt based on other peopleās perception of me, but I just want to be loved consistently through my ocd and adhd. It feels like itās too much for people, while I simultaneously feel like Iām making this a massive deal. I donāt want to get into another relationship ever again, I just think Iām too weird for most men or theyāll take advantage of me for something again. I think if a man is nice to me, it means thereās an ulterior motive or a catch. Thereās genuinely no way someone even cares as much about me as I do them, itās always one sided. I love my friends, Iām taking about relationships wise. Not to mention, I hate the way I look and act. When I think Iām somewhat decent looking, thereās always a post to pop up with this stunningly beautiful girl. I can never catch up with modern beauty standards. I hate this so so so much. I hate feeling this way, how do I make this all stop?
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- 9w
Ok, Iām 23 years old guy and Iāve never had a girlfriend or anything intimate with a female. Thereās reasons for it I think growing up I was awkward, shy, and at times out of shape. But now I take good care of myself and though I struggle a lot with my mental health I think I could bring a lot to the table but Iāve just never been able to find somebody. I put myself out there on apps(no success) or just being out in the world hoping to meet someone naturally just nothing. I was pretty fine with this fact of waiting for the right person and taking more time than others to find love for most of my life..but everyday I get older it gets more embarrassing. Seeing friends and peers in relationships and talk about intimacy feels like Iām missing out on such a core fundamental part of the human experience. I try not to compare myself to others and have my own journey but I feel kind of pathetic honestly. Iāve been a hopeless romantic for my whole life I think itās such a beautiful part of life and Iāve been dreaming of the day..that might be a problem honestly because I have such a romanization of it and idea of what it should be that the few chances I mightāve had I overthought or dropped because it didnāt fit that image I hadā¦love at first sight, sparks flying etc..maybe I should be more open..And on top of all of that I do struggle with the fear Iām far to broken or far gone mentally to ever be able to maintain a relationship which hurts because as Iāve expressed itās what I want most in life. Thank you for reading it might not be 100 percent ocd related but I needed to express this somewhere and I love this community helps me a lot, if anyone in my age group struggles with something similar feel free to share.
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