- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
You have to learn to accept the thought. It’s OCD, and you’re straight. But you don’t enjoy the feeling of “uncertainty”. No one who has ocd does. It sucks. But it’s reality. So you have to start learning how to accept the “possibility” of being gay. Even though you are not. You accept the possibility not because it’s true, but because this makes the mind calm down and stop forcing you too ruminate and look for certainty. There’s more info I can give, but I recommend you find an ocd therapist and they will help you exposure response exercises. Also- I had this in highschool. Same exact experience. I’m fine now. I know I’m not gay, and the thought doesn’t bother me anymore because I accepted the possibility and didn’t try to reject it. You will be fine too. Just get the help you need and info you need. I did it on my own, but ocd finds new themes so I would’ve loved to have a therapist for this back in the day and learn what was going on
- Date posted
- 3y
I wanted to say Thank you so much for always giving me advice. Without your help I probably would still be extremely lost with my thoughts. Thank you so much! Today I tried to accept it even though It scared me. What I felt on Friday last week was the feeling when you get closer to a friend and have a good time but my mind thought of it as if I liked her and it's been stuck in my mind ever since I can't find girl's pretty without my mind saying "you're gay". I will try my best to accept the uncertainty. I also wanted to say that I have a counselor not a therapist :( sadly
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mayte Also. I’m so glad to hear that I could help. It brings me joy to share my experience and knowledge with those whose need it
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
When I was 14 (I’m 32 now) I read this article and it said, “at around 14 you start to figure out your sexuality; whether your gay or straight.” After I read it, this thought came into my head “what if I’m gay”. I instantly freaked out and tried to get rid of it. But it wouldn’t go away. And not only that; but I started having unwanted images of men. And it really scared me. I was afraid to talk to anyone about it. But one day I just told myself it’s okay to be gay. Maybe I am. So what! And when the thought popped up, it didn’t bother me as much. Eventually it just went away. If I got a thought now that I was gay, it doesn’t bother me at all. And if it does, I just accept the thought. Trust me you don’t have to do anything other than accept it. Look at it straight ahead, and say “maybe I am, so what?”
- Date posted
- 3y
Personally the reason I don't like saying "I might like girl's I might not" is because if it's true my family wouldn't allow that well my parents and 1 sister my other sisters yes but I also like I imagine it and It's weird for me because I don't see myself with someone the same gender as me and thinking about it makes me feel scared that I am bi or Les. It was all cause I over thinked it when I was with my friend. Honestly It's annoying me because now I can't find girl's pretty because my mind says I like her.... It's frustrating but I'm glad you figured yourself out :)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mayte I never said you would like it. The point isn’t to enjoy saying it, the point is to get OCD to stop asking you for certainty. I have fears that the chicken I cooked isn’t cooked properly. Do you think I enjoy the thought of say maybe I’ll get sick and end up in the hospital and die, and my parents and loved one will have to cry and deal with my dead body? Or fears that I ran over someone while driving. Do you think it’s enjoyable to think “maybe I hit someone” when the consequences can be jail time and your whole life is over. My point is: recovery isn’t enjoyable. But it’s necessary, and it ends our ultimate suffering. Pain now, peace later. So you say you are afraid of being les, and your family wouldn’t like it. And I’m saying “maybe not maybe yes.” Don’t give in to the thoughts. Accept the uncertainty of this world ocd has created for you. And remember it’s not supposed to feel good to do this.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 12w
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
- Date posted
- 10w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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