It feels like if me and my mind are two different people.... Because my mind wants the opposite of what I want and I can't figure out what I truly want now. Also I need advice from people but only if you have the same problem if not then no. But I'll say a girl is pretty and my mind goes "your gay, bi or Les" but It started last week on Friday and that day I felt so scared that I was becoming gay and I cried a lot this week cause of it! Like I can't find a girl pretty without my mind saying omg you like her. Liking guys makes me happy and excited but I've never liked a girl or I don't see myself dating one. I've imagined how it would be to date a girl and I find it uncomfortable. Sorry if this offends anyone. But I don't like the thought of "liking a girl". I keep searching how do I know if I'm bi or Les or straight 😐 I don't know what to do.

Sasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

You have to learn to accept the thought. It’s OCD, and you’re straight. But you don’t enjoy the feeling of “uncertainty”. No one who has ocd does. It sucks. But it’s reality. So you have to start learning how to accept the “possibility” of being gay. Even though you are not. You accept the possibility not because it’s true, but because this makes the mind calm down and stop forcing you too ruminate and look for certainty. There’s more info I can give, but I recommend you find an ocd therapist and they will help you exposure response exercises. Also- I had this in highschool. Same exact experience. I’m fine now. I know I’m not gay, and the thought doesn’t bother me anymore because I accepted the possibility and didn’t try to reject it. You will be fine too. Just get the help you need and info you need. I did it on my own, but ocd finds new themes so I would’ve loved to have a therapist for this back in the day and learn what was going on

Mayte

Date posted: 4y

I wanted to say Thank you so much for always giving me advice. Without your help I probably would still be extremely lost with my thoughts. Thank you so much! Today I tried to accept it even though It scared me. What I felt on Friday last week was the feeling when you get closer to a friend and have a good time but my mind thought of it as if I liked her and it's been stuck in my mind ever since I can't find girl's pretty without my mind saying "you're gay". I will try my best to accept the uncertainty. I also wanted to say that I have a counselor not a therapist :( sadly

Sasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@Mayte Also. I’m so glad to hear that I could help. It brings me joy to share my experience and knowledge with those whose need it

Sasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

When I was 14 (I’m 32 now) I read this article and it said, “at around 14 you start to figure out your sexuality; whether your gay or straight.” After I read it, this thought came into my head “what if I’m gay”. I instantly freaked out and tried to get rid of it. But it wouldn’t go away. And not only that; but I started having unwanted images of men. And it really scared me. I was afraid to talk to anyone about it. But one day I just told myself it’s okay to be gay. Maybe I am. So what! And when the thought popped up, it didn’t bother me as much. Eventually it just went away. If I got a thought now that I was gay, it doesn’t bother me at all. And if it does, I just accept the thought. Trust me you don’t have to do anything other than accept it. Look at it straight ahead, and say “maybe I am, so what?”

Mayte

Date posted: 4y

Personally the reason I don't like saying "I might like girl's I might not" is because if it's true my family wouldn't allow that well my parents and 1 sister my other sisters yes but I also like I imagine it and It's weird for me because I don't see myself with someone the same gender as me and thinking about it makes me feel scared that I am bi or Les. It was all cause I over thinked it when I was with my friend. Honestly It's annoying me because now I can't find girl's pretty because my mind says I like her.... It's frustrating but I'm glad you figured yourself out :)

Sasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@Mayte I never said you would like it. The point isn’t to enjoy saying it, the point is to get OCD to stop asking you for certainty. I have fears that the chicken I cooked isn’t cooked properly. Do you think I enjoy the thought of say maybe I’ll get sick and end up in the hospital and die, and my parents and loved one will have to cry and deal with my dead body? Or fears that I ran over someone while driving. Do you think it’s enjoyable to think “maybe I hit someone” when the consequences can be jail time and your whole life is over. My point is: recovery isn’t enjoyable. But it’s necessary, and it ends our ultimate suffering. Pain now, peace later. So you say you are afraid of being les, and your family wouldn’t like it. And I’m saying “maybe not maybe yes.” Don’t give in to the thoughts. Accept the uncertainty of this world ocd has created for you. And remember it’s not supposed to feel good to do this.

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