TOCD doesn’t really affect me until the night. Why do I still believe the intrusive thoughts and have anxiety over them when I should logically understand that they only happen in the night! It’s so frustrating that OCD has so much power over me

So at night I have these intrusive thoughts that I leave the door wide open. This causes me to fear that someone will walk in the house and harm my family. I also have this back massage device. I fear that if I leave it plugged in on accident a fire will happen. So I went down to make sure that it was not plugged in. The thing is that I never used the massager that day. When I went back up I felt like I opened the front door (an entrance to my house) even though I didn't. I had to get my wife to check the door other wise I would not have slept. When I checked it I became more insecure. This has been reoccurence with me.

Each night I go to bed determined to stop compulsions and start beating this disorder. Then I wake up and it smacks me in the face first thing and I’m doing a compulsion before I know it. I told my therapist that I would try to handle it like we do in session, but I’ve already failed. It seems like I can’t bring ERP into my “real” life.

I feel like it’s just me. But at night when I start to fall asleep, play on my phone, or watch TV; I’ll get major intrusive thoughts and a butt load of anxiety. Has anyone felt the same about this? How have you managed it? It’s getting exhausting and even causes me to sleep-less.