My POCD thought feel to real. I feel like an actual p* I look at kids and check to see if I’m aroused or get a thought. Than I make a thought and it doesn’t scare me as much anymore and I don’t know why to do. I’m starting erp and I’m scared that I’m just going to end up realizing I probably am one. This is so tough I feel like admitting I am one and when I do I just cry because I know I’m not but why does it feel like this. I hate this I never had thoughts like this and I just want die

hunty

Date posted: 3y

Hi honey. I suffer from Pedophilic OCD as well. I suffer from it, just like you do. You may feel like a pedophile, because you have unwanted intrusive thoughts. But I think you know you are not a pedophile. Yeah, my thoughts don’t scare me anymore either. Thats exactly what our therapists want us to gain in therapy. We grow tolerance to any thought. We are not our thoughts, OCD sufferers are good people, who fight to be the best version of themselves every day. To us it seems like an almost impossible task because of what our thoughts tell us to do. I’ve personally just grown tired. I’ve grown tired of entangling with OCD. The doubt, the uncertainty is infinite. You will never satisfy OCD. Do not sit there and try to find out whether you are a pedophile or not, because you aren’t. You know this, just feels like you are. You are your actions, you are what you seize the day to be. It feels real because it has to be real. Sometimes our mind is just not our friend, but you decide who you want to be today. Do not worry. You just do the exact opposite of what thoughts tell you to do, do ERP, & expose yourself to children. They are the sweetest beings in the world. Take charge of your young life, & rejoice. I love you in Christ.

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 3y

Thank you for your kind words! I’m literally crying at work in the bathroom. It’s so hard I feel like a monster hiding. Afraid one day im going to snap and hurt a child. I just want to be normal and I never will be and it’s so sad. I don’t know who I am anymore.

hunty

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous🤷🏽‍♀️ You’d be surprised how sweet & how unchanging you are when you expose yourself to kids. You will not snap, put OCD in its place. If it wants to be in your mind, let it. If it wants to call you a monster in hiding. Let it. But only allow it in your mind, it cannot manifest into your wonderful life. There is enough illness in this world, & bad people don’t care to be better, only good people. Shine, & be still. Live one day at a time. You will get better, I know you will.

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 3y

@;-; Thank you I really hope I can pull through and have a positive out look. It’s super hard and I’m alone. I really do appreciate you!!

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Hurting so deeply

I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.

POCD

TurbulentSaq112

Date posted: 17w

POCD without guilt or shame

I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that

POCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 12w

I feel so scared all the time

I’ve given up with the confessing. I feel so drained and irredeemable that why even confess anymore? I don’t know if this is a good thing. On paper, it looks great. My bf thinks I’m better, but I feel like I’m dying. The attraction, arousal, urges, compulsions are all getting so much stronger. I feel like I’m embracing a monster. The POCD is driving me mad. I genuinely cannot see kids anymore because it’s immediate checking compulsions and intrusions. I need help. Has anyone gotten to this point and made it back to “normal”? I feel like a pedophile who is simply ashamed of being one.

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