My POCD thought feel to real. I feel like an actual p* I look at kids and check to see if I’m aroused or get a thought. Than I make a thought and it doesn’t scare me as much anymore and I don’t know why to do. I’m starting erp and I’m scared that I’m just going to end up realizing I probably am one. This is so tough I feel like admitting I am one and when I do I just cry because I know I’m not but why does it feel like this. I hate this I never had thoughts like this and I just want die

Hi honey. I suffer from Pedophilic OCD as well. I suffer from it, just like you do. You may feel like a pedophile, because you have unwanted intrusive thoughts. But I think you know you are not a pedophile. Yeah, my thoughts don’t scare me anymore either. Thats exactly what our therapists want us to gain in therapy. We grow tolerance to any thought. We are not our thoughts, OCD sufferers are good people, who fight to be the best version of themselves every day. To us it seems like an almost impossible task because of what our thoughts tell us to do. I’ve personally just grown tired. I’ve grown tired of entangling with OCD. The doubt, the uncertainty is infinite. You will never satisfy OCD. Do not sit there and try to find out whether you are a pedophile or not, because you aren’t. You know this, just feels like you are. You are your actions, you are what you seize the day to be. It feels real because it has to be real. Sometimes our mind is just not our friend, but you decide who you want to be today. Do not worry. You just do the exact opposite of what thoughts tell you to do, do ERP, & expose yourself to children. They are the sweetest beings in the world. Take charge of your young life, & rejoice. I love you in Christ.