- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I have trouble with feeling guilty about actions too sometimes, normally my OCD bothers me more about mental things I think though. I have trouble differentiating between if something is actually wrong, or if it's just according to my OCD that it's wrong. Most of the time its just my OCD, but I constantly ask for reassurance from my wife, but I know when it comes to OCD we shouldn't seek reassurance, but it can be truly difficult to function sometimes without having that reassurance. I'm sorry I'm not helping much, but just know I can relate to how you feel Have a sunflower. I hope you have a good night filled with peace though friend. God bless!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes, this definitely helps knowing I’m not the only one that has a hard time differentiating what my ocd thinks is bad vs what normal people would actually think is bad.
- Date posted
- 3y
I suppose part of the concern is that I can try to tell myself that I made a mistake and I’ll learn from it and try to do better in the future, but what if that is reinforcing that the action I did was bad when it is actually considered normal? I don’t want to allow my ocd to convince me that a possibly normal action is bad because that will just make it more difficult for me down the road to live a happier and more normal life.
- Date posted
- 3y
I can completely relate to what you're saying! Specifically when it comes to saying specific words or phrases, my OCD will tell me "nope, that's a bad word to say" so I'll stop saying it, but then I'll try to look at it logically "are there other people around me saying that word?" If so I'll tell myself "it's okay, you can say that word because other people are saying it too, so obviously my OCD is lying to me about it being bad, it's just a normal word". I realize though that this "solution" honestly probably SHOULDN'T be used because it leads to the problem you're talking about how it can start reinforcing that the specific thing is "bad" even though it actually isn't bad at all. So, honestly my recommendation is to NOT do what I mentioned above. Instead try your very best (even though it will probably be very difficult at first) to just simply ignore the OCD telling you that you made a mistake. The more you ignore it, the less it will bother you. It might take time though, like possibly days before it stops bothering you, but it will be worth it once you learn to do that, I really think it will help you. :) I'm still working on it too though, but I really think it's the best course of action in this case. I REALLY hope this isn't bad advice though, I wouldn't want to misguide you. I would say you should also ask your therapist or psychiatrist too about this (if you currently have one). I hope you'll have a great night filled with peace though friend. God bless!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Drew777 Thank you! You too! This is a great perspective and do not worry about misguiding me! It is helpful knowing I am not the only one with the same issues!
- Date posted
- 3y
Don't let your OCD convince you that something is wrong when it is actually completely normal. I think whatever it is that you're worried about IS honestly completely normal. (even though I don't know what it is specifically) The reason I think this is just simply because I've been through this same thing so many times, so I can relate so much.
- Date posted
- 3y
Haha ya it probably is like that for all of us who suffer from moral scrupulosity! It is hard to look at your own situation with this kind of insight so it’s nice to come one here and allow others to see the clarity you currently lack. Thanks for the help!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Yeah, anytime! :) I'm glad we're all part of a community where we have the opportunity to help each other with our different OCD issues we face!
- Date posted
- 3y
Like real event ocd?
- Date posted
- 3y
Idk I’m not very familiar with real event ocd. I just did something that is definitely wrong according to my moral scrupulosity ocd and I am not sure if that is just considered wrong to me or if the majority of society would agree that it’s wrong.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Can real event ocd be about something you just did or does it have to be from a long time ago?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 It can be any time. The problem is there is really no ultimate right or wrong, everything is based on opinion. And the world isn’t that black and white- lots of things are somewhere in the middle. The only thing you can do here is not ruminate on it. Let the thoughts and feelings come in and don’t engage with them. Over time they won’t really bother you anymore.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Thanks for the advice!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve done things in the past few years that I’m not proud of - only a couple of things I can think of and they didn’t directly hurt anyone at least with is relieving (but maybe indirectly they sort of did or could’ve which makes me hate myself because why did I do that… *how* could I do that…) If I could back and stop those things from happening, I would. I may not have thought about what I was doing at the time, so I didn’t really recognize that they weren’t okay, but that doesn’t excuse them, and I would smack some sense into my past self if I were able. I feel like if anyone knew what I‘ve done, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. They’d write me off as worthless. And maybe they should to be honest. Now yet another thing has come up - I haven’t done anything, but I had an intrusive thought pop up that made me *think* about doing something and this would be unforgivable in my opinion. Though, to be honest, the things I’ve done before are also somewhat unforgivable in my opinion… 😞 Regardless, I don’t want to do it because I don’t think it’s okay, but I worry deep down that I do. Or that I’m looking for an excuse to make it okay to do. I don’t know, it’s complicated. And I’m upset I even thought about it. I wish I had never seen the thing that triggered that intrusive thought. Yet another thing I would stop if I could. I’ve tried to not think about it or focus on it, but it doesn’t work. Even if it goes away, it just comes back again. I just keep thinking about it and it’s overwhelming. Anyway all of the guilt of this is killing me. I feel like an irredeemably terrible person and it makes me want to give up. I can’t get on with life because it’s paralyzing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and at this point, it feels like I don’t deserve to just move on. I can’t live with myself and I feel like I don’t deserve anything anymore. I know a lot of this is probably OCD, but I’m not sure all of it is and I don’t know what to do… if I spoke to a therapist about it, I don’t think I could bring myself to say what I’ve done or what thoughts I’ve had. But if I was told to move on by someone who didn’t know the truth, I would worry they wouldn’t really say that if they knew. Agh, it’s all just a mess 😞
- Date posted
- 24w
Today has been really hard I feel like I can’t even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I can’t take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but it’s so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didn’t realize? And now reflecting it ???
- Date posted
- 21w
i don’t know what changed, but in the past 1-2 weeks something switched in my brain and now i am obsessing over every mistake I’ve ever made, and i firmly believe the guilt i feel is justified. i am a pathological liar and i’m realizing i may have lied about more things than I ever intended to. i think i tricked myself into believing some things and now I feel awful that I’ve lied to myself and others about so many things. my mind is a mess and i can’t even tell what is a lie and what isn’t anymore. i also feel like i’ve been taking advantage of my boyfriends family who has financially supported me for these past few years, because i had convinced myself and everyone around me that my physical health & mental health was worse than it actually was. i never meant to take advantage or hurt anyone, but i can definitely say that i became complacent and comfortable living these past few years without having to worry about work, school, or really anything. i think i used “not feeling well” as an excuse to not do anything because i was too afraid to leave the house and function in society. i feel so awful and disgusted by my behavior and the guilt is eating me alive. i even feel bad using my phone because they pay for it, and feel bad being in my apartment for the same reason. i feel like everything about me is a lie and they’ve been paying for and supporting a person completely different than they thought. maybe i’m not who I portrayed myself out to be at all. i’ve felt so disgusting and so awful i can barely stand it. this morning i woke up feeling like i was suffocating, my chest hurt so bad and i felt like there was absolutely no way out. i really felt like i was dying. other than the lying, i’ve felt awful about things i did as a child where i didn’t know any better, or i even feel bad about my own thoughts and emotions that I have no control over. my mom says i’m being too hard on myself, and that i can’t help that i lie, but i don’t believe that. i think i deserve to feel this way and that i’m not being hard enough on myself. i lied and took advantage and therefore i deserve to suffer. i caused people to worry for me when it wasn’t necessary, when i was fine. i deserve to feel so guilty that i’m nauseous, i deserve to feel ashamed. i feel like i don’t deserve to eat or feel better, even though i desperately want to. i feel so guilty and so shameful i literally can’t function. i want to escape this feeling so bad, i want to get out of this guilt that’s keeping me from moving on and improving myself. i acknowledge that i have a lying problem, that it’s a mental illness, but i am ashamed of it and feel disgusted that i’m this way even though i can’t help some of it. i truly don’t know what to do or how to have compassion for myself. probably a good idea to share that my dad is a pathological liar and never received help, and i’m pretty sure i learned this behavior through him. not to mention all the stuff i did as a kid that i feel bad about, or the fact that i feel bad about things i can’t control. and i even feel bad about finding certain things funny. the guilt is killing me and i don’t know how i’m ever supposed to become a better person if i’m so sure that i’m undeserving of ever feeling better. in my head i truly feel like im a monster. i feel like i’m having a crisis because i’m realizing i lied about a lot of things without even really realizing it. or i deceived myself into thinking things. and I’ve lied about things for sympathy, for attention, to make myself seem more interesting, or to make me seem less pathetic than i actually am. i’ve lied about some serious things, and i’ve lied about things that don’t matter at all. i don’t know how to keep living. i want to go home to my apartment and be in my safe space, but i feel disgusting being there when i’ve taken advantage of my boyfriend’s family, even though it was never my intention. no matter what I do and where i go, i feel wrong. because i’ve done so many bad things and i can’t forgive myself. i feel so morally wrong i can’t stand it and i don’t see things ever getting better. i feel like I’m going crazy and i feel so alone. i can’t escape this guilt no matter what. and i feel overwhelmed because I know this isn’t something that can be fixed quickly. am i ever gonna be able to live without shame ever again? am i ever gonna be able to do the things i love again? the things that brought me comfort? nothing brings me any comfort, and i spend all day in bed or sitting around doing absolutely nothing because i can’t distract myself. i can’t stop thinking about all the things i’ve done no matter how hard i try. i obsessively read and look up online things to try and find reassurance. i feel like i’m going crazy. and i just feel so sorry. to everyone. and i’m so extremely ashamed of my behavior. i can’t stop obsessing about the past, the present, and the future. don’t i deserve to feel this way when i’ve lied and done bad things? even if it wasn’t my intention, or if it’s a result of a mental illness? don’t i deserve to feel debilitating guilt when i’ve been a bad person? even though i know i never had any bad intentions, i don’t think it matters. am i gonna feel this way forever, where everything i do or everywhere i look, im reminded of the the things ive done?
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