Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

I’m super aware of intrusive thoughts and they don’t go away and I don’t know how to make them go away or how to deal with them. And last night I had an urge and was almost going to act on one and that terrified me. I came home and the same thought arhat scared me was still in my mind and it scares me. I’m scared I’m going to lose control and become a bad person because I just don’t know what to do about the thoughts and how I’m capable of these things. I even contemplated about admitting myself to a mental hospital to get help because it’s getting bad and I don’t know how to control it. But I’m scared of doing that because what if I just end up staying in there for the rest of my life. What should I do I’m really scared and worried I may never get better and this is it for me.

Snuggle 🤗

Date posted: 4y

Relax and breathe you’re safe. You don’t make your thought go away because it will come back. You’re fighting something that doesn’t exist and it’s not real. Your thought is just a thought it’s not reality. The moment you’re trying to defeat something that’s not real you lose. You’re having a mental diarrhea. You don’t do anything at this time.

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

I’m just terrified and I’m really in my head right now. I’m just exhausted and I want answers and I need help. I’m scared

Snuggle 🤗

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous🤷🏽‍♀️ You will never get any answers It’s actually good not to know

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

@DADO So I should just stay home and try to go in about my day? Yesterday was really hard and I feel like today might be too. Especially since I keep tossing and turning with fears of my actions and my intrusive thoughts

Snuggle 🤗

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous🤷🏽‍♀️ Go about your day and enjoy yourself today because you deserve it. Keep yourself busy and do something nice . Go have FUN.

Estrid

Date posted: 4y

Our goal isnt to make the thoughts go away. Its about learning to manage the thoughts in a new way. The more you struggle with the thoughts, the more they will hurt you. You have to learn that thoughts arent dangerous, they can be uncomfortable but not dangerous. Seek help, there is hope for you too.

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

Do you think I should do that? Go to the mental hospital because it’s super bad and I’m afraid of myself. I’m awake and everyone is asleep and I’m scared I might do something. I thought I had it under control but I think I’m traumatized from last night. I just want to leave my house

Lms526

Date posted: 4y

Everyone has in intrusive thoughts. The thought itself is not the problem. The problem is how we react to them. We give intrusive thoughts more weight and meaning than they deserve. You need to find a therapist who specializes in ERP and understands OCD. Doing ERP is terrifying, but it really does help. I have both harm and suicide OCD. So I know how terrifying these types of thoughts can be. But recovery is possible. When I had my 90 minute assessment with my therapist, I was terrified to tell her about some of the thoughts that I had. I thought for sure she would have me involuntarily committed to the hospital or that she would call the police on me. A therapist who understands OCD will not bat an eye at anything you say. They have heard it all before. They will recognize the difference between an intrusive thought and true intention. They are NOT the same thing. I received this in my email yesterday. I hope it helps you as much as it did me. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-tell-a-therapist-your-scariest-thoughts?src=email_%5BClone%5D%20OnlinedERP_vs_InPerson_091021

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

I got a therapist through here and I’m just waiting to start ERP but I think I did too much research and I convinced myself I’m something I’m not and I’m freaking out. My intrusive thoughts come as commands most of the time and it scares me. I feel like I just want to get the help already because I don’t know how much more longer I can hold on for.

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

Ok first of all how old are you? If you are an adult you can leave whenever you want unless you tell them you are suicidal or homicial with a plan and intent. And if you are a minor, you can’t leave when you want but if you are not suicidal or homicial they won’t keep you, they’ll just keep you for an average stay. And nobody gets put in a psych ward for life for having OCD. You usually stay like 2 weeks. Second, this is how you stop https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/how-to-stop-ruminating/

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

I’m 22 years old and scared. I just want to stay home but I have two jobs and I can’t afford to miss both. It’s just so hard because my mental health is really bad and everyone keeps telling me I seem better when I’m not. I feel like I’m getting worse and everyday feels like it’s getting harder

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous🤷🏽‍♀️ Ok so since you are 22 you can leave any treatment center at anytime unless you plan to hurt yourself or someone else. I know it’s hard with work, I totally get it, but your recovery has to come first. Are you at least doing weekly therapy with an OCD specialist and meds? If so can you increase your sessions?

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous🤷🏽‍♀️ Also look into the free support groups on here.

Snuggle 🤗

Date posted: 4y

Staff in mental hospital are very rude. I witnessed violence and things that made my ocd worse. They could not help me. Coffee is not allowed plus there are people running around, some people yelling and laughing loud., some people hallucinating walking around fighting and arguing with the wall , one guy pretending to be a helicopter running around the hallway. After lunch there is something called “ Quiet Time” where everyone has to go to their room for mandatory 1hour nap time. I shared room with guy that was hearing voices . They removed me from that room told me it’s not safe to stay there because of him. If you don’t take your medication when they give you , you will never get out. It was just horrible experience for me. I would never check myself in again.

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

Wow wtf???? I’ve never had that experience. But if you have OCD it’s best to go to an inpatient OCD center rather than a psych ward.

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

Omg that sound me terrible I’m sorry you had to experience something like that :((

Anonymous:,(

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous You’ve been to inpatient treatment?

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous🤷🏽‍♀️ I have 4 times but not for OCD.

Mitu_001

Date posted: 20w

Tw I am so scared

I am so scared of everything .Of my thoughts.If I am a good person.Years ago I didnt help a kid who was in danger.Since then I started to have terrible thoughts :( i am so terrified.I still have these thoughts and I am scared it means something about me .I really dont want to hurt anyone and I want to help that kid now but idk how I can now.Also I am scared I betray everyone.I still have terrible thoughts and when I am with someone I care is worse...idk why.For example I started to talk with a collegue and he is really nice to me.I told him some things abt me( not the intrusive thoughts) and he was supportive.I have no idea if I will tell anyone abt my thoughts..and bcs of that I feel like I lie to them and betray them.I really want to enjoy my life and be happy and support people( especially because I didnt help that kid then).I want to live up to my morals now but I feel like I lie and manipulate people bcs I am a monster.Is this normal? To feel this way? What can I do? What if I am my worst fear and just cant accept it?!

laladracu

Date posted: 20w

a thought?

I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore

Harm OCD

bradyx20

Date posted: 18w

don’t know what’s happening to me

i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self

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