I think I just deserve to die

But what if I’m a pedo :( then I will never have a meaningful life :(

@random_person I was in your same position. a few months ago. “What if?” is the never ending cycle that OCD gets you caught in!

@FightTheFear We’re you ever convinced your obession is true? Because I’m scared I don’t want it to be true but I feel almost convinced at this point

How can I have faith in god? I’m trying to but it’s hard

@random_person I understand that, even for me it’s hard to have faith sometimes, but It’s important to look more at what you believe He’s done for you rather than the urge to find proof of His existence. If we don’t have faith, believing will be hard because we don’t physically see God and we will constantly be looking for reassurance when the key is to believe. My faith grows when I read the Bible and pray/have a conversation with God daily. I turned to God at a point where things were really bad for me and He was the only one I felt open and able to talk to without feeling misunderstood. That situation increased my faith because without God, there was nothing else that motivated me and gave me hope.

@random_person It’s a choice. Choose it because it’s the only way. Trust the process. Trust that ERP works. Trust your therapist. Trust that god is giving you these things as a way to get better.

@Godsgood I have prayed so many times and I’m only getting worse and I God hasn’t helped me. Does this mean that he doesn’t want to help me? And I’m scared because maybe he’s punishing me and won’t help me because I didn’t have faith in God before and used to think bad things about him. And now it feels like I’m turning to him only because I need him and I’m struggling but not because I truly have faith or want to have a relationship with him

@random_person That’s not how God works. I believe in an understanding and forgiving God as a Christian. God doesn’t punish us. It’s ok that you doubted Him before- we are humans and all have doubts. He wants you to turn to Him if you need to. God doesn’t make things magically go away; he has already given you everything you need to get better- the tools, ERP, your therapist. You need to choose to commit to using these tools to get better. I would just pray for strength to help you use the tools, this is what I do every morning. And once I committed to doing the things that everyone says works, I started feeling better. Not right away, and it wasn’t easy, and I still have moments where I struggle, but over time it gets easier if we commit to it.

@random_person God will welcome you, if you come to Him, even if you have been far from Him. I know from experience. Us humans tend to come to God mostly in times of trouble but God is merciful to forgive us if we ask. He cares about you and even though you’re going through a hard time He still cares about you, and I don’t believe that he’s punishing you with this for those reasons because there have been plenty of people who believe in God and are Christian who struggle with these things. You’re not too far gone for God.