- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Talk to her about it and let her know how you feel. Being honest is really your best friend. If in the end, she doesn't want to understand your perspective and this sensitive time for you, then she is not worth it. At the same time, it could also be a coincidence that she was just discussing the topic around you, but you should definitely ask her before assuming anything. I have the issue of "assuming before anything" and it's important to understand that things just may not be what they seem, and our heads may create the worst-case scenarios for every issue.
- Date posted
- 4y
:( you’re right. It’s not fair for me to assume the worst in her. I’m just really scared to talk to her. Last time we talked I had a major breakdown. I’m just so sensitive, and my heart is so tender. I have no one to go to if what she says hurts me any more. Also we live together. So I also have nowhere to go. I just am so scared of getting hurt because I already feel so hurt.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonymoose Well, she has no idea what you truly are going through internally, so there is really no way for her to tell if you were lying or not, also she isn't a professional, so if she were to say something it would have no logical meaning. Just explain to her what she said may have triggered you, and that you just want her to be there for you as your best friend going through a time like this. It can be scary being confrontational, but it can also be very necessary. You can do this! I'm not the most confrontational individual, but I am working on that and trying to be a bit more assertive. You got this friend, believe in yourself!
- Date posted
- 4y
@franksinatraismydad You’re right again. It definitely is necessary that I start this conversation. Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice. Doing something is better than doing nothing at all. I really appreciate you <3
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonymoose Of course! I hope all goes well
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m really sorry to hear this. If you have time, you can talk to her about it and based on how she responds you can choose your next step.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m gonna talk to her this afternoon. I really think she’s going to respond in a loving way. It’s just scary to tell someone that they did something that hurt you when you feel like you’re making everything up.
- Date posted
- 4y
@anonymoose I understand that, and i’m glad it went okay.
- Date posted
- 4y
Update we had a long talk and cried and I think we’re gonna be okay
- Date posted
- 4y
It is quite possible, since she is in psychology class, that perhaps she isn't talking about you. I know several people, who don't have OCD, that look to Google to determine their ailments. Usually because they would rather treat at home than go into the doctor. It is a very common thing for people to do.
- Date posted
- 4y
I don’t know. When I told her I think I have ocd, she told me something along the same lines. She was like “just don’t start doing things because you think you have ocd.” As in, don’t start acting differently to try and more fully match the diagnostic criteria. I do agree that people invalidly self-diagnose all the time. It’s just really inconsiderate to suggest that I am doing so or could start doing so because I already face enough doubt. I already am terrified that I don’t have ocd and I’m actually just a messed up person. But I literally am the same person that I was two weeks ago, before I realized that there’s a name for what I’ve been feeling my whole life. I’m the same person that I was when I thought I just had anxiety. So I’m just going to tell her that and ask her to try to be mindful about my doubt.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve posted this under a comment before, but if anyone has the time to read it and maybe share their experience or tips with me, I would really appreciate it. This is just kind of the reason why Idk if I only have OCD or if I should get checked for BPD aswell as emotional dependency is (as far as I know) not a common symptom of OCD and neither are excessive changes in emotions/moods. I think the worst part my situation is that one of my biggest and most damaging if not destructive obsessions I developed earlier this year was this constant fear that my friend would lie to me about meeting up with a boy she liked (we are both girls and queer, she didn’t know that about me until recently, but I’ve known that she is and we both sort of crushed on each other). Not just lie, but do it behind my back, keep it a secret, and then maybe even end our friendship without saying anything. And the thing is... that basically happened. Two weeks ago she started acting strange one day out of nowhere, and then I found out (through another friend) that he was coming over to her place. We had already talked about this before, I had cried in front of her and confessed how much it hurt me. I know doing that probably wasn’t the healthiest thing, but my emotions completely overwhelmed me in that moment. And even though nothing physical happened between them, it still felt like a betrayal. I’m not saying it was cheating, obviously not, we’re not in a relationship and it is unfair of me to try and tell her who or not to date, but it still hurts. Especially as weeks ago, we already had a detailed conversation about this. She told me she didn’t actually like him that much, and that if they were going to meet again, she’d be honest with me about it. But instead of being honest that day, she said nothing. Worse, she suddenly stopped talking to me, which made me think I had done something wrong so I completely lost my mind. She knows I’m emotionally dependent on her to some extent, so when she goes cold or distant, I spiral. And that day, I saw them talking and going quiet as I walked by, and then she literally turned to walk into a different direction. I don’t know why but it just crushed me. I thought she was mad at me, and I just felt like I was being shut out and lied to. And as I’ve mentioned, later that day, after eight hours of crying, another friend told me what really happened. She even drove me to her place so we could talk. We did talk, but since then, we haven’t had any contact. And it’s driving me absolutely insane. She told me it would be “people-pleasing” if she didn’t try to date him. And I know she’s kind of right, but she still lied to me. She didn’t care if that meant that she would throw away our friendship, or at least she treated it like it was worth less than a potential (!) relationship with a guy who, as far as I know, didn’t even respond when she told him she had feelings for him. It’s honestly devastating. I feel betrayed, discarded, and totally lost and I know I can’t even logically be mad at her as the reason she didn’t tell me is obvious and as a good friend I should just be happy for her, but my emotional side is so much stronger than my logic.
- Students with OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Existential OCD
- Magical Thinking OCD
- Suicidal OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 15w
im not diagnosed but for the past five years i've been seeing A LOT of ocd symptoms in myself. i kinda accepted that i might have it and learning about people's experiences helped me a lot. i was in a really bad place when i was 16 but at some point i got better (so i thought) I've lost one relationship and i healed from loosing it and then i fell in love again. we we're together for a year and six months. i was really happy for most of the time but unfortunately we we're both not really stable mentally and we both had some mental issues. i helped my girlfriend and i supported her the best i could. she managed to move in in my city and we started living together november. at first it still was her who had a lot of issues (probably depression and being very suicidal) i was struggling and i was really stressed but i tried my best to help. i think eventually she got better in january everything was happening all at once. i've lost my job and we had to move out to a different apartment and in the same time she gained new friends at work. earlier my ocd was showing up occasionally but since that time i think it got kinda worse. i have very low self esteem and when my girlfriend got really close with one girl in her work i started feeling uneasy. i never wanted to be a jelous and controlling girlfriend but my head was constantly telling me "she's will get bored of you bc of her new friend" "she's starting to care more about her than you" and it was unbearable. we talked about it few times and she tried to reassure me but at some point i saw she's not feeling good about my self doubt and being jelous. months passed and everything was getting worse. she become more and more distant, she stopped showing me any affection, she stopped asking me on a dates, she stopped flirting and even on my birthday i had to please her to stop texting someone and focus on a movie we were watching. and now two days ago she broke up with me. few days earlier we had a serious talk and she told me she doesn't feel like doing anything romantic with me anymore and when i asked why she told me she thinks she got tired of me. i asked her what about me makes her tired and she told me "it's because you can't do and cope with anything" or smth like that (its hard to translate it to English). and i understand that it could be tiring bc i was doing bad mentally and i asked for reassurance a lot even tho i knew it's my compulsion and even tho i told her i will try not to. i am also a very anxious person and i was really stressed aboud my new job and money and a lot of things and all of it made her tired. i feel so guilty that i couldn't try harder. i feel so guilty for not noticing I'm actually loosing her earlier. or maybe i actually was noticing it by being scared when she started to be mkre excited to spend time with her friend rather than me? i don't know i just feel so bad bc i still love her and i don't know if I can't stop bit i already asked her few times if she's sure that this is what she wants and i told her i will try harder and i booked a visit with a psychiatrist but she told me she's too tired to try. im scared she's also struggling mentally. i don't really know what i even want to hear from you guys i just really want to disappear bc i can't stop blaming myself for loosing my soulmate and the best person in the entire world, the most beautiful, funny and sweet person. she doesn't need me anymore. she doesn't want me and it hurts ass hell. and the fact that it might be all my fault hurt even more
- Date posted
- 15w
My girlfriend, who’s become increasingly controlling, read my therapy notes while I was sleeping (the one thing I told her not to read). She found a note I wrote, forgiving myself about a past guilt that I hadn’t in detail told her about, and she accused me of exactly what I fear about myself. A week later, she left me. I am destroyed. I’ve spent the past week desperately trying to rekindle the relationship, and I had some level of peace. I got heavy reassurance from a friend, but I think this was a trigger. A day later, while still focused on the relationship, my brain shifted to the guilt itself, and it went deeper. I am now back to where I was 2 years ago torturing myself over my real event OCD, and thoughts that I’m afraid to mention. I am losing my mind and can’t talk to the person who always accepted me, who I feel almost cured my OCD for two years. Now, here I am back to this app, I really need help, I feel I’ve lost everything.
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