This is just so awful. My best friend knows what I’m going through. She knows that I just learned that I probably have OCD. She knows that I’m struggling with doubt. Yet she has given up on me. She has stopped asking how I’m doing. She has stopped loving me. After our psychology class, she said something that was so awful for me to hear. She told “our” friends about how people want a diagnosis so badly. So they look something up and before they even get diagnosed, they start convincing themselves that they have those symptoms. So they essentially make it up. They conform to fit the diagnostic criteria. She said this knowing how scared I am. Knowing how much momentary relief I found when I learned about the different dimensions of ocd. She literally told me that she thought I had ocd (but didn’t tell me when she thought it) before when I told her I think I do. I just don’t understand why she would say that around me. I feel our friendship dissolving, and I don’t have the energy to try and save it.

:( you’re right. It’s not fair for me to assume the worst in her. I’m just really scared to talk to her. Last time we talked I had a major breakdown. I’m just so sensitive, and my heart is so tender. I have no one to go to if what she says hurts me any more. Also we live together. So I also have nowhere to go. I just am so scared of getting hurt because I already feel so hurt.

@anonymoose Well, she has no idea what you truly are going through internally, so there is really no way for her to tell if you were lying or not, also she isn't a professional, so if she were to say something it would have no logical meaning. Just explain to her what she said may have triggered you, and that you just want her to be there for you as your best friend going through a time like this. It can be scary being confrontational, but it can also be very necessary. You can do this! I'm not the most confrontational individual, but I am working on that and trying to be a bit more assertive. You got this friend, believe in yourself!

@franksinatraismydad You’re right again. It definitely is necessary that I start this conversation. Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice. Doing something is better than doing nothing at all. I really appreciate you <3

@anonymoose Of course! I hope all goes well

I’m gonna talk to her this afternoon. I really think she’s going to respond in a loving way. It’s just scary to tell someone that they did something that hurt you when you feel like you’re making everything up.

@anonymoose I understand that, and i’m glad it went okay.

I don’t know. When I told her I think I have ocd, she told me something along the same lines. She was like “just don’t start doing things because you think you have ocd.” As in, don’t start acting differently to try and more fully match the diagnostic criteria. I do agree that people invalidly self-diagnose all the time. It’s just really inconsiderate to suggest that I am doing so or could start doing so because I already face enough doubt. I already am terrified that I don’t have ocd and I’m actually just a messed up person. But I literally am the same person that I was two weeks ago, before I realized that there’s a name for what I’ve been feeling my whole life. I’m the same person that I was when I thought I just had anxiety. So I’m just going to tell her that and ask her to try to be mindful about my doubt.