The more you try to figure it out and the more you do compulsions will it feel more real. I feel like I’m in the position where I’m genuinely confused if I’m a p or not when before I thought I knew deep down that I wasn’t. But I feel like I’m just so deep into confusion that I don’t know anymore and it feels too real now. Im doomed

Should I still try ERP or am I doomed? I am sure that it won’t work and it’s pointless because I’m Almost sure I don’t have ocd at this point

You are only doomed if you stop fighting and let OCD win. It won't come easy, but recovery is posdible

Here is a quote from OCD expert Allegra Kastens: “Here’s the thing: we don’t need to know if you actually like the obsessions or not to change compulsive behavior. We don’t need to know if the thoughts are true or false to live a values based life.” We often ask ourselves “do I have OCD or am I actually the thing I’m afraid of becoming??” The reality is that you DO have OCD and you DON’T know with absolute certainty whether or not you’re the thing you’re afraid of. I know that might be triggering for some to read, but the idea is that you can commit to ERP even in the moments when you believe (or partially believe) that your thoughts might be true.

I was in a similar boat before I started feeling a bit better. The doomed feeling really resonated with me. I kept thinking “how can I go back to the way I was before?” ERP helped me, it may or may not help you but there’s no harm in trying. Make sure you let your therapist know about these feelings and they may have some more specific advice for you

Did ERP manage to find things that triggered you or gave you anxiety?

@random_person I would say so

I feel the same as you do! Don’t worry it’s OCD

If you really were a p the feeling wouldn’t change throughout days or weeks

What do you mean by that? Not trying to be rude could you just elaborate?

This sounds like reassurance. I know you’re trying to help, but it won’t help in the long run. OCD will always need more and more reassurance.

I can relate. I had myself convinced I didn't really have OCD. So I was shocked when my counselor said I did. Then it started yelling me that even though ERP has helped lots of other people, it wouldn't work for me. I'm not going to lie to you. ErP is crazy hard and terrifying. But it does work. But the key is you just have to allow your anxiety to do its thing. If you do a compulsion during or after the exposure, it will not work. I've only done 3 exposures so far. But I have already noticed a huge different. You have to be willing to do the exposure no matter how scary or hard it is. Your therapist will be there to guide and support you. You will go slow and work your way up.