I would just like to acknowledge all of you who have had ocd and intrusive thoughts from such a young age. I don’t know how all of you do it, you are all such strong and wonderful human beings. Ive only begin to experience this and it’s so exhausting. I don’t know how to live because I feel like the things I enjoyed before I don’t find pleasure in or it’s hard to enjoy because in my head 24/7. I don’t even like being around my family anymore because I feel like such a burden and a danger. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about every single one of them and they are so disgusting I don’t feel like I deserve to be around them. I look back at pictures from a couple months ago and I miss that person and I don’t know where that person is anymore I feel like she died. I guess I just want to know how do you all do it? Like do I just get back out there and try to find new things to learn and love? Like will I be able to go out and do stuff? I feel like I can’t or don’t deserve to. Do you just go from here and rediscover yourself? I just don’t know what to do anymore and everyday feels the same just wake up and waiting till night. Waiting to get through the night only to wake up in the morning and repeat the same cycle. Is there any tips you can suggest I’m really struggling?

I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression

(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.

I am newly diagnosed with OCD as a 33 year old female I was fat oses with bipolar at 15 and never really identified with it much and totally relate to ocd. I wish i would have known long ago so I could have gotten treatment earlier. Now that I know and am aware and can see what’s off and what are compulsions and my insatiable need for reassurance it’s so overwhelming- it feels like my mind is a prison and attacks me with a new pure o quest as soon as I wake up I’m optimistic I’ll be able to get better but it just feels like it’s time sucking and joy stealing disorder I know I’m not alone here I feel like a crazy person replaying and replaying things I want to know if you can relate or if you have been at this for a while and actually feel like you are breaking free from this Thanks for the read