- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thankyou for replying everyone! It’s giving me a bit of hope going through this is really difficult and draining
- Date posted
- 3y
I worried about something similar, for a time. What I learned is that worrying that you don't have ocd is a part of ocd. My fear and intrusive thoughts would suddenly vanish when I thought about getting help, then would come back slowly when I convinced myself everything was fine. Don't trust it. Get help, you won't regret it.
- Date posted
- 3y
You better ask your therapist about this
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, this is also a good thing to talk about with your therapist.
- Date posted
- 3y
@sleepy💤 Yes... hey i want a little help
- Date posted
- 3y
@hardev What's up?
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t have a therapist yet though
- Date posted
- 3y
@random_person Definitely get one. Ocd doesn't just go away like it wants you to believe. Don't let it trick you!
- Date posted
- 3y
@sleepy💤 Do you still think I should get one after reading everything I wrote ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@random_person Yes!
- Date posted
- 3y
@random_person Absolutely! Sorry for the late response, btw!
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with this and I'm in therapy. XD
- Date posted
- 3y
I know this exact feeling word for word. You may not be able to understand your triggers but they are there! You will figure out the general theme of them and what your fears are associated around. (Why you think you’re a bad person.) if you’re putting so much thought into all of your fears it’s most likely OCD. Some days I feel like I never had OCD and I made it all up because I’m a terrible person. Then some days I’m like “Okay I definitely have OCD” it’s all apart of it. We aren’t terrible people we are just so afraid of being terrible people.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 23w
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
- Date posted
- 7w
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I have therapy today and I’m nervous. I just started going to therapy and I really like my therapist. She talked to me about doing ERP and I’m really nervous about it. I’m scared to tell her the extent of my OCD, and my themes. I’m scared to tell her about my false memory OCD, because I’m scared that what I did was real and I’m just excusing it as false memory, although I have no memory of it. I’m scared that I am truly a monster and I’m using OCD as an excuse—and that she’ll find out and distance herself. I’m just scared that my whole world is gonna fall apart, all around me.
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