Thread
soup
36d ago

i hate it, it feels like i go through this cycle of really feeling straight, then finding the joy and my love for being a lesbian again, and it keeps going. at some point i even felt like i had to remove my pride pin on my bag. i don’t feel like a lesbian anymore and i forgot how to. pocd and iocd and soocd and just ocd in general stole my identity.

soup
36d ago
and it’s not that i don’t want to be a lesbian. i do. i miss it. i can’t remember how i used to feel, to the point where i fear it was never there, but i miss it. coming out made me so happy. i used to love girls so much. wtf
Imaan7
36d ago
I understand, except I was a straight dude( I think) not even sure If I was straight before. My identity feels so blank
soup
35d ago
exactly! it feels so blank. i don’t feel anything for girls anymore, and it’s awful. i used to be so sad to be in the closet, and now i’m out as a lesbian but i can’t even feel it it’s awful. i’m sorry this feeling of losing your identity is happening to you too :( we can recover
Imaan7
35d ago
@soup I hope so, I wish we both get back to our normal states!
soup
35d ago
@Imaan7 yes :)
alexisrae1999
35d ago
Your story made me quite sad actually. I identify as straight with hocd, but I can't imagine the confusion and sadness you must feel. My heart goes out to you hun! I hope your attraction returns soon :)
soup
35d ago
that’s so sweet <3 thank you a lot. i’m sorry you experience that theme too :( i wish you a good recovery
kcharlene
35d ago
Oh man that is so hard. My rocd has also affected my attraction to my husband and it’s the literal worst. Hopefully as we can make peace with our minds it will come back..
soup
35d ago
exactly! healing takes time but we can do it :)