I just tried to take a nap and the same intrusive thought came to my head and my mind was going to go to a dark place but I woke up with my heart racing. I just keep thinking how am I supposed to live like this forever? How am I going to live a quality life forever. I feel like I’m losing my mind every day. I don’t get enough sleep. Most sleep I get maybe 3 hours. I can’t really tell no one but I confess too much on here or I’ll complain or confess about a different problem I’m struggling with. I feel like I’m losing my mind. My memory isn’t the best right now and my days are all mixed up. I’m breaking down twice a day and I’m not sure if it’s because of my period making it worse but my whole life sucks :( I feel like this is it tbh.

I have barely slept in three days, maybe two hours a night. I feel so overwhelmed and uncomfortable right now. I cannot, for the life of me, stop confessing. I feel absolutely unforgivable, like no matter what it is, I am irredeemable. These waves of guilt and dread keep hitting me so hard. Every time I sleep, all I do is dream-ruminate. I analyze every tiny detail of whatever I am obsessing over, even in my sleep. It almost feels easier to stay awake, not that I have been able to do anything else. I feel so drained. I am scared to sleep. I hate my brain. I feel so anxious.

Alot is on my mind u feel like I’m going to lose my mind , not really a lot but if I think too hard I think I’m gonna lose my mind , I was trying to slp n I think I’m gonna lose my mind , I’ve always been having thoughts about going crazy it never really changed , I have other thoughts and triggers but they always somehow lead Bk to me thinking I’m going to lose my mind , guys I’m so tired , do I even have ocd

I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.