- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I deal with similar issues on a daily basis. At the end of the day, every relationship is a risk and you just kind of have to decide if that person is worth the potential risk of heartbreak. Also, love is much more of a choice than a feeling. Are you willing to choose that person when it’s hard? Are you willing to give up your dreams for the sake of that person? If so, they’re worth the risk and worth fighting OCD for. My boyfriend has been selflessly fighting my ROCD with me for about 3-4 months now, even though I’ve battled it for a couple of years. We have the freedom to choose, “the one” is not a real thing, and love is a choice of willing selflessness.
- Date posted
- 6y
I hope that helps. I know that doesn’t make it any easier, but you aren’t alone
- Date posted
- 6y
I dealt with all of those exact same feelings before I started the relationship I am in rn. I’d never had a boyfriend before. The day we officially started dating I had an anxiety attack later that night about it scared that I had made a wrong choice and what if I was wasting a kind person’s time because I had such a skeptical view of relationships. First of all, take your time, there’s no rush to decide. 2nd of all, if you look for tiny incompatibilities to fixate on, you will eventually find one because no one is perfect and so there is no perfect couple. And last, every relationship to an extent is a little bit of a leap of faith. Even if you took that leap and some day it ended (not saying that is the case) you will still have grown as a person, and made choices based on potential joy and not avoidance of fear. I was in this exact position a while back. It was extremely scary and I felt paralyzed to make any choice for fear of making the wrong one. But I took a chance and was fortunate to have found someone I could talk to my fears about. And I’m def still** working thru lots of things I know realize are ROCD and other mental health things but my partner and I will have our 2 year anniversary this summer ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys for the advice. I don't understand my brain, on the one hand, I 've allwaays wanted to be in a relationship, I've always wanted my true love, but now, when I certainly have the opportunity to experience what a relationship has to offer, I am scared. In fact, I am petrified just at the thought of letting one person into my life. And then there're other thoughts like there could be a better choice for me, or maybe I should wait, or this will only complicate things etc. Recently I've been thinking about the phisical aspect of the guy, and while I don't think he is repulsive, some aspects of his can be improved. This makes me think that I am a superficial and bad person , but I just can't help but identify little details which do or do not support this potential relationship
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
As someone who has never been in a relationship it’s hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 I’ve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I don’t it’s just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now I’m putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesn’t help. I’m working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I don’t like the way I look, I can’t imagine myself with someone, and I’m never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????
- Date posted
- 22w
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
- Date posted
- 19w
Every time we go out together and it’s not just us it’s also our manager and her son and his (the guy I’m talking to) roommate. We went to church one time alone. But my thing is I keep overthinking “am I leading him on” I still don’t know what to feel just and I’ve never been in a relationship. When we see each other we hold hands and and hug but I don’t want to kiss just yet even though I get the feeling to because I want to take it very slow especially when. I’m constantly overthinking everything. We hang out and I’m having a good time and then I go home and overthink a lot. It’s worse when I’m overthinking when waking up. Has anyone else experienced this. Like we’re friends right now but does anyone think it’s to soon to be holding hands and hugging. We held hands the second time meeting because I’m aware I want to take things slow. When I see him I get happy. I keep seeking reassurance from my mom, sister and google (of course) and I keep seeing post that you shouldn’t lead someone on and you can’t force to like someone. I overthink and then I’m calm and the thoughts start again. I really don’t want to hurt this guy he is so sweet and caring
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