- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I deal with similar issues on a daily basis. At the end of the day, every relationship is a risk and you just kind of have to decide if that person is worth the potential risk of heartbreak. Also, love is much more of a choice than a feeling. Are you willing to choose that person when it’s hard? Are you willing to give up your dreams for the sake of that person? If so, they’re worth the risk and worth fighting OCD for. My boyfriend has been selflessly fighting my ROCD with me for about 3-4 months now, even though I’ve battled it for a couple of years. We have the freedom to choose, “the one” is not a real thing, and love is a choice of willing selflessness.
- Date posted
- 6y
I hope that helps. I know that doesn’t make it any easier, but you aren’t alone
- Date posted
- 6y
I dealt with all of those exact same feelings before I started the relationship I am in rn. I’d never had a boyfriend before. The day we officially started dating I had an anxiety attack later that night about it scared that I had made a wrong choice and what if I was wasting a kind person’s time because I had such a skeptical view of relationships. First of all, take your time, there’s no rush to decide. 2nd of all, if you look for tiny incompatibilities to fixate on, you will eventually find one because no one is perfect and so there is no perfect couple. And last, every relationship to an extent is a little bit of a leap of faith. Even if you took that leap and some day it ended (not saying that is the case) you will still have grown as a person, and made choices based on potential joy and not avoidance of fear. I was in this exact position a while back. It was extremely scary and I felt paralyzed to make any choice for fear of making the wrong one. But I took a chance and was fortunate to have found someone I could talk to my fears about. And I’m def still** working thru lots of things I know realize are ROCD and other mental health things but my partner and I will have our 2 year anniversary this summer ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys for the advice. I don't understand my brain, on the one hand, I 've allwaays wanted to be in a relationship, I've always wanted my true love, but now, when I certainly have the opportunity to experience what a relationship has to offer, I am scared. In fact, I am petrified just at the thought of letting one person into my life. And then there're other thoughts like there could be a better choice for me, or maybe I should wait, or this will only complicate things etc. Recently I've been thinking about the phisical aspect of the guy, and while I don't think he is repulsive, some aspects of his can be improved. This makes me think that I am a superficial and bad person , but I just can't help but identify little details which do or do not support this potential relationship
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I have had multiple experiences where I was too clingy or literally cried when someone i have known for 3 days stops talking to me. I have fixated on the idea that I am never going to be in a happy relationship so anytime someone is nice to me I hold my breath hoping we will fall in love and get married, even if don't know eachother. I find myself over looking qualities that I usually would not like and constantly seeking their validation.
- Date posted
- 18w
Can anyone validate my feelings/felt the same way. I overthink a lot about my relationship, but I especially worry my boyfriend will randomly change behaviors and become toxic. He’s never had toxic behaviors but I worry at some point in our relationship he could possibly change, and it consumes me sometimes.
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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