Is it normal to feel fear before starting your first relationship? There's this guy that I've become friends with, but the conversations that we have hint to something more. I can't help but think about what if he isn't the right one for me, or that it is nonesense to have a relationship right now because it will eventualy end and what's the point etc.

I deal with similar issues on a daily basis. At the end of the day, every relationship is a risk and you just kind of have to decide if that person is worth the potential risk of heartbreak. Also, love is much more of a choice than a feeling. Are you willing to choose that person when it’s hard? Are you willing to give up your dreams for the sake of that person? If so, they’re worth the risk and worth fighting OCD for. My boyfriend has been selflessly fighting my ROCD with me for about 3-4 months now, even though I’ve battled it for a couple of years. We have the freedom to choose, “the one” is not a real thing, and love is a choice of willing selflessness.

I hope that helps. I know that doesn’t make it any easier, but you aren’t alone

I dealt with all of those exact same feelings before I started the relationship I am in rn. I’d never had a boyfriend before. The day we officially started dating I had an anxiety attack later that night about it scared that I had made a wrong choice and what if I was wasting a kind person’s time because I had such a skeptical view of relationships. First of all, take your time, there’s no rush to decide. 2nd of all, if you look for tiny incompatibilities to fixate on, you will eventually find one because no one is perfect and so there is no perfect couple. And last, every relationship to an extent is a little bit of a leap of faith. Even if you took that leap and some day it ended (not saying that is the case) you will still have grown as a person, and made choices based on potential joy and not avoidance of fear. I was in this exact position a while back. It was extremely scary and I felt paralyzed to make any choice for fear of making the wrong one. But I took a chance and was fortunate to have found someone I could talk to my fears about. And I’m def still** working thru lots of things I know realize are ROCD and other mental health things but my partner and I will have our 2 year anniversary this summer ?

Thank you guys for the advice. I don't understand my brain, on the one hand, I 've allwaays wanted to be in a relationship, I've always wanted my true love, but now, when I certainly have the opportunity to experience what a relationship has to offer, I am scared. In fact, I am petrified just at the thought of letting one person into my life. And then there're other thoughts like there could be a better choice for me, or maybe I should wait, or this will only complicate things etc. Recently I've been thinking about the phisical aspect of the guy, and while I don't think he is repulsive, some aspects of his can be improved. This makes me think that I am a superficial and bad person , but I just can't help but identify little details which do or do not support this potential relationship