Is it a compulsion that you are trying to neutralise your urge to perform a ritual by reasoning with it?

Yes.

Aw that sucks! I always do that to stop the anxiety from getting worse. Guess I have to do nothing now.

Unfortunately if that hasn't become a compulsion, it might eventually. A lot of my more complex compulsions are a result of me trying not to do my original compulsions. Oftentimes the best thing to do in response to your thoughts is nothing at all.

I think I'm lost.. I can't deal with the anxiety without doing the compulsion, it's so painful to wait until the urge is over.

Plus I've been seeing some improvement with doing the compulsion itself. Reasoning with the urge to ritualise (not the thought) made the thought less painful and less sticky. It's like a good compulsion to use against the original compulsion, how weird!

Are you in therapy? In therapy you make an hierarchy, and gradually stop the compulsions so you dont get overwhelmed. But in the long run we have to learn to sit with the discomfort until we notice that it isn't so bad.

@Estrid I'm not seeing any therapist now or doing any form of therapy. I'm too afraid to face the compulsion, I don't want to get involved in the activity so I normally seek an emotional response to calm down the urge, is that a good idea?

@PolarisJoy I dont really get what you mean...sorry. I think anticipatory anxiety is the worst. When we allow rhe feelings they aren t that hard as we thought. Its when we try to protect ourselves from the feelings it gets tough.

What I meant is that whenever I get the urge to harm myself. I'll talk to myself. "Hey, it's not worth it. Don't engage in the compulsion." Is self-talk necessary a bad thing? I find it very helpful at times. It's not really pushing away the urge, but rather to build resistant against it.