I wanted to share this in case anyone needed to hear it. I sure do! I have been having quite a few bad days lately. 😂😬

Of course! I am sorry you are struggling. You aren’t alone though! I went through three years of cbt therapy for a panic disorder and then when it got better I noticed the ocd and got diagnosed. I have gone through a little over two months of erp therapy and saw some improvements according to the assessments I regularly take. But I have definitely had more bad bad days than good and my first vacation since my ocd diagnosis was a total disaster which makes me question if therapy is working or if I am doing it right. I just started my transition over to another ssri today and I am expecting a lot more bad days ahead during the transition. My anxiety which I haven’t had much of in over a year since my successful cbt therapy is now coming back. It is so easy to feel hopeless and frustrated that symptoms are returning and it makes you doubt any progress you have made and any you might make in the future. We have to remember that we have been creating pathways of thinking in our brain for a long time and it will take a lot of work and ups and downs to create better pathways. Sometimes I think of ocd as a weed infestation in my garden (the rest of my brain). Weeds are resilient and can spread fast. You might think you have gotten rid of them and successfully planted your flowers so you turn your attention away for a minute and the next time you turn back to water the flowers you are surprised with yet another weed infestation. We can’t give up on pulling the weeds. The longer you tend the soil and flowers the more the flowers will thrive and outcompete the weeds. The dread and guilt are do uncomfortable. I know how it feels. I don’t have harm ocd but I have other subtypes that are also considered less socially acceptable and hard to talk about. At this point I feel like I am marinating in discomfort and guilt about all my thoughts and my past mistakes. It is common to feel this way with ocd. If you ever want to talk about the guilt feel free to do so! Sometimes, just relating to others experiencing the same thing can give you the hope, comfort, and strength to keep going.

@Have a sunflower🌻 Thanks Have a sunflower. I really needed to read that. :) my OCD has been driving me crazy lately, plus I've been having pretty bad anxiety too, so that's not helping either. It's so nice to have friends like you on this app and in this community to get advice from, and just to talk about stuff in general. :) Also, I loved your reply to Anonymous, that was very kind and awesome of you to say all of that. :) I really liked your metaphor about the weeds and flower garden, I think it is very true and relatable in the way OCD feels a lot of the time. But we really can make it through this, it just won't happen overnight because like your original post said, we will have bad days, but we can't let ourselves get discouraged by them, we have to persevere. :) Have a great night Have a sunflower. God bless! 😀

@Drew777 Thank you! I am sorry to hear your ocd and anxiety are acting up right now! It seems that many of us are struggling right now. Ocd is tough but it helps not to think too far ahead and focus on mindfulness in the moment. Hope you have a good night too!

@Have a sunflower🌻 Yeah, it's just been weird lately, I feel like I'm stressed out anytime I'm around anyone because I'm so afraid I'll say or do something that will trigger my OCD, I feel more at peace when I'm alone recently, which makes me so sad because I really want to spend time with my family, I love being with them. But you're absolutely right, it does help to not think too far ahead, and to focus on mindfulness in the moment. I hope all of us who are struggling right now will start to find peace from our OCD soon. :) and you're welcome, I'm glad we can all talk together on this app in this community. It really makes a big difference. :)

Of course! I am sure seeing your mom is a huge trigger and I am proud of you for doing it. My subtypes focus on my parents and sister so I understand how sad and disheartening it can be. I live with my family so I definitely understand how difficult and triggering it is to be around a family member. I am pretty sure I don’t do enough purposeful erp but at this point it feels like every minute is an accidental exposure and I am trying to focus on mindfulness in the moment so I have neither the time or energy for purposeful exposures. Hopefully, that will still lead to progress. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Treatment and recovery definitely isn’t easy or perfect. I suppose we will both have to just keep trying.

Haha thanks they are certainly challenging! Yes let’s definitely stay in touch. Feel free to come back to this post for support if you need it!