As a lifelong OCD haver, I find it helpful to think back on old obsessions and compulsions that don’t bother me anymore. It puts current ones into perspective a bit. So in light of that, what is the most bizarre past obsession/compulsion (so one that is currently not affecting you) that you ever had? I’ll go first. Mine’s pretty embarrassing. When I was around 21 (12 or so years ago) one time while I was taking a shower I had a super intense groin all response out of nowhere. At the time I was really struggling as it was with religious scrupulosity. So in my OCD mind, I felt that I needed to do EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to not be sexually aroused, and that now involved getting naked in order to take a shower. So for a period of around two months, showering basically meant splashing my upper body and legs with soap and water. And then instead of actually properly cleaning my genital area I would use basically a wet wipe without removing my underwear. Guys, I reeked. I was not cleaning myself properly for over 2 months. I didn’t know I had OCD at the time so it wasn’t as easy as trying some ERP. Finally I realized that this just couldn’t work, and that I was driving myself crazy. After thinking really hard about whether I should or not, I approached my dad about it, whom I trusted. And without knowing it, he basically told me to do ERP. “You need to get clean, you can’t keep doing that.” “But what if I feel something sexual.” “I really don’t care what you feel, go right now and take a proper shower.” Bless my dad for that dose of sanity when I needed it.

I am starting to come to grips with intrusive thoughts, reading how your brain will think of the worst thing / or make you think of something that really distresses you. BUT, I’ve got something I need to get off my chest, not looking for reassurance but just to know I’m not alone I guess? I remember one time, I saw a girl I follow on Instagram go on a marathon, and then went straight out for dinner after without showering and I had the passing thought of, gosh she must smell, even worse, she must smell down there. That has got to be the worst intrusive thought EVER, and because it affected me so much, I have the urge to think of this horrible horrible thought most times I look at people. Wondering if they smell!!!! It’s disgusting!!!! :( I don’t know if this is because I also have contamination ocd and I do obsess about feeling and being clean.

Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.

+18 only!! TW for sexual content!! (This might be TMI, but I need advice) So, this is kinda embarrassing, but I haven't been able to self-pleasure without feeling shame or guilt. It's so bad that I've just stopped altogether, but I don't want to avoid it. It was something I enjoyed and was comfortable with, and now, because of OCD, it just makes me feel... gross. It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do, but my mind just tries to convince me that it's wrong. Had anyone else dealt with this? It's not a huge issue, but I'm tired of unnecessary shame. :(