Had an existential crisis today. I tried so hard not to freak out and throw myself in a tailspin of unwanted thoughts, but the thoughts sneakily came in and hit me like a tidal wave.
I am due to graduate in December this semester and I had a scheduling mishap (we are about 5 weeks in) and I wasn't enrolled for the correct amount of credits, resulting in me actually not being considered a full-time student. (12 credits is considered full-time here)
On a whim today I caught this in my Portal for school and thought to email the registrar's office just to clear things up. Good thing I did because I ended up needing a course that I had initially dropped at the beginning of the semester to make time for my internship and that course was one that was required for me to graduate as well.
A whole entire mess- believe me, I was in GO mode. Talking with my professor, my advisors, the registrar's office, my mom and more. Within a matter of about 45 minutes, I got the issue fixed and I am in the right number of credits as of now and I was able to switch my courses to fit into my schedule.
What if it doesn't work?
What if he says no?
What happens when there's literally no space for you in that class?
What happens if you literally don't graduate in December?
Will you have to stay an entire semester longer just to finish one course?
How will you afford that extra semester if that does happen?
What happens if it DOES work out, and you have allllllllll that work to make up?
Will you be able to even catch up?
What content have you missed thus far?
How are you even going to jump into a class 5-weeks in?
The thoughts literally never end. I tried to tell myself, "I'll figure it out, like I always do." This helps me sometimes but then I think, "Well... what if you don't figure it out?" And then the whole process starts over again.
Gratitude is the only thing that I've figured out I can use to drown these thoughts out. Simply just trying to find the gratefulness in a situation can reframe my whole mindset.
I am just SUPER grateful that ON A WHIM today, I decided to email the registrar's office about the discrepancies in my schedule. Because I truly believe that if I had waited until the end of this week, or even next week, I would not be able to get this figured out because it'd be too late.