Hello everyone! I hope everybody is doing well tonight. This is my first official post on this app, but I've been reading and commenting on other people's posts fairly regularly. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy being a part of this amazing community and I'm so happy to be able to do my best to help others on here who are struggling with OCD. I'm also of course so happy to be able to receive such wonderful and amazing advice and encouragement from everyone else on here everytime I get on the app, so thank you everyone! :) I've already made some wonderful friends on this app and I'm looking forward to making many more friends as I continue to use this app. By the way, Happy #flooffriday everybody! Our family cat Grace says hello to everyone and hopes you will all have an awesome night! 😀

Thank you so much Have a sunflower, its so great to hear from you again friend! 😀 And my family and I are having a great night! Grace seemed happy earlier after I gave her some food. :) And thank you! I've been wanting to post something for a little while now but I've been nervous to. I've been so afraid of how people would respond to anything I might say... but I see now I had nothing to worry about! :) And yeah, I'm feeling a lot better! :) Thank you for your amazing support friend! I'm so glad we can continue to be here for each other Have a sunflower. How are you feeling since we last spoke? I hope your anxiety has gone down and that you are having a wonderful day/night. 😊

@Drew777 I am glad you are feeling better! This community is very welcoming and non-judgmental which makes it feel a lot safer to post. I am in the middle of a medication switch which I have been struggling with. The depression has gotten better in the last two days though 🙂. Thanks for asking! I noticed I have been making a lot more bad decisions lately (at least according to my ocd) that I wish I didn’t make but I think I have finally gotten accustomed enough to them to recognize when I am considering doing that again and exercising enough will power to stop it now (wow that is very vague but it’s nothing harmful to others or dangerous just morally bad). I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m human and we make bad judgment calls sometimes and sometimes it takes a few times before you recognize the bad call you keep making. It’s amazing how much easier it is to think that way about others but with ourselves mistakes aren’t acceptable. Oh well, hopefully things will continue to improve for both of us and the rest of the ocd community!

@Have a sunflower🌻 I imagine switching medications must be really overwhelming and bring a weird feeling to your mind. Your brain has to learn to adjust to something that is affecting it in a completely different way than what it is used to from a previous medication, so it must cause a big shock to the mind and to the whole body even. I hope and pray that your medication transition will keep getting better and that your mind and body will adjust to it in the proper way that it needs to. I actually used to take medication too, but long story short (with more reasons than one playing a factor) I basically quit taking my medication "cold turkey" to some extent. I definitely don't recommend it, as the withdrawal of my medication has been pretty awful some days... but I am learning to adjust, but I am also open to going back on my medication if I really need to, I'm just not sure yet about all of it... I'm glad that your depression has gotten better in the last two days though, I truly am. I hope and pray that you'll continue to feel that peace every day. Of course struggles will arise in your life (as they will in all of our lives) but through all of the chaos I still pray you'll feel comforted in your heart and mind. You are very strong Have a sunflower, I know I don't really know you all that well entirely, but I sense that you have a lot of hope and courage in your heart and mind, a lot more than you probably even realize yourself. You can do this my friend. Determination! 😀 You know, you brought up a lot of really great points about OCD... And it actually really got me thinking about all of it really intently... I'm still trying to understand my OCD, and I know I never really truly will understand it fully, but I feel like if I know my enemy it will make it easier to fight it. Maybe that's not exactly how us with OCD should view it completely, but i feel like it can't hurt either though to try and have a plan for when certain OCD intrusive thoughts arise in our minds, I hope that is an okay mindset to have... So, your OCD causes you to worry that you're doing things that are morally wrong? Since you say it's according to your OCD that it's wrong, I'm assuming that's what meaning. I hope I am understanding that correctly, so I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding that at all... But yes, you're absolutely right, we are human and we are flawed, and sometimes we're just simply going to do the wrong thing or make a bad choice and all we can do is try our best to learn from those mistakes, but it doesn't mean that we won't make them again from time to time. So there is no point in beating ourselves up when we fail. If we fall down we just have to pick ourselves back up again and keep facing life with a positive attitude and a smile on our face. :) (even that can be hard sometimes though, but we just have to do whatever our best is) It is easier to notice our own mistakes though and to be harder on ourselves about them than we would be to someone else about their mistakes though. But we simply have to learn to forgive ourselves, just as God has already forgiven us too of all of our sins. Knowing God has forgiven us brings me such amazing peace in my heart, so I hope it does for you too. :) (I don't know if you're a Christian or not, so I hope the mention of God in that way isn't insensitive to you at all, so I apologize if it is in anyway if that's not what you believe in) I hope you'll have a great day though Have a sunflower! 😀

@Drew777 Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing about your experience with medication! I personally think there’s is nothing wrong with your mindset about knowing the enemy. Being ignorant about ocd seems like it would make it harder to treat but like you that is just my opinion and I’m not a professional. You definitely understood correctly! I have pretty intense moral scrupulosity ocd and so I already feel bad for things that are normal so when I do something that at least a good amount of people might agree is bad, then that practically sends me over the edge. Plus I saw this quote about making a mistake more than once makes it an I intention which really freaked me out. 😬 I appreciate the way you’d said that though; I made a bad choice and I made it a few times but that’s part of being human. I suppose I’m not really allowed to do the wrong thing once let alone multiple times. That strict black and white thinking is part of ocd I suppose. Please don’t apologize for bringing up your religion, you didn’t say anything insensitive! 🙂 Honestly, I am “loosely” Christian which I don’t know counts or not. I am a scientist so I have my doubts but I grew up in a Christian home (again though not very strict). I have only been to church a few times and don’t know much about the rules or what’s in the Bible. But since I started struggling with my mental health, I realized that deep down at least a part of me wants to believe. Sorry for going off on this tangent! My lack of knowledge sometimes makes my ocd worse because I don’t really know if the things I do or think is actually forgivable or if I am already going to h*ll just from my lack of knowledge and my doubts already. It honestly would probably help me if I could rely on God’s forgiveness for my bad actions and thoughts but since I don’t know what he forgives and what is unforgivable, I don’t feel comfortable relying on it. Sorry if anything I said was offensive or triggering! I definitely didn’t mean to say anything bad about God or Christianity if I did! Thank you again for continuing to be supportive and kind!

@Have a sunflower🌻 You're welcome. I still feel like I made the wrong choice with my medication though... I dont know if I should start taking it again or not... I'll just keep thinking about it for now I guess. I believe I too have intense moral scrupulosity OCD, I feel like my OCD will make me feel bad for just about anything, but it is very inconsistent in what it chooses for me to feel guilty about, it's kind of complicated, but I guess all of OCD is complicated, lol. I don't particularly agree with that quote you mentioned from whoever said it, I mean I understand what point its trying to make, but I don't think things are always quite that simple in that way that its saying. But I agree, strict black and white thinking is definitely part of OCD, it's either good or bad, or right or wrong, with no chance of making a case for ourselves, and that's one of the most frustrating parts about OCD I think. That's okay though, I understand what you mean, for a long time I wasn't very connected to Christianity either, even though I had been raised Christian all of my life. I think it sounds like you believe in God but that you just don't understand everything about Christianity. (I guess that's basically what you just said though) I think that's great that a part of you wants to believe in God, so please don't be sorry at all for talking about it Have a sunflower. Take comfort in this though friend, as a Christian who has really been rooted in God's word for awhile now though I can tell you that all our sins are forgivable, and God already has forgiven us of all of our sins that we have committed, we just have to confess our sins to God and admit that we have sinned and that we believe that the death of Jesus (God's Son) on the cross is the only thing that can ever save us, so don't be afraid of going to hell friend. Just place your trust in God and know that He loves you SO much more than you can ever possibly imagine. I feel like I shouldn't try to explain it all here on this app though because I know I'll leave something out and I don't want to confuse you at all. Plus i don't want you to think that I'm trying to be a "Bible thumper" or make you feel forced into believing in Christianity, because at the end of the day it's your choice on what you believe in. I just thought since it sounded like you were unsure about a lot of it that I would try to offer some information to you on the subject is all. If you do have more questions about it though I would recommend talking to a pastor of a Christian church or doing some research online. :) You didn't say anything offensive or triggering. :) there is never anything wrong with asking questions about something. So, if you ever have anything you want to ask me about OCD, Christianity, or anything else, please feel free to ask. :) that's why I'm so glad for this app, just so all of us can come together and ask questions to one another and for advice on OCD issues and such. By the way, I realize that this may not be the most appropriate place to discuss religion, so I hope it was okay of me to share some of that with you Have a sunflower. If you don't want to talk about it again I will completely understand and respect that. :) I hope I could help though. Im sorry for my late reply, but I hope you have a great night though friend! 😀 by the way, I'm so glad that we are friends Have a sunflower! 😊

@Drew777 That’s ok thanks for giving me some of the basics. I will probably do a bit more research eventually but I will probably wait until I have a bit less on my plate and for now just wait and hope I don’t do anything too bad to be forgiven (fingers crossed 🤞). I want to urge you though to be careful and not spread yourself too thin on here. You are so quick to help everyone it is easy to get overwhelmed or honestly even become an obsession in itself. I am not trying to discourage your efforts at all or change what your doing, just be careful about worrying about everyone else so much that you don’t worry for yourself! Hope you and the rest of the ocd community have a good night and try to remember to take some time for yourselves!

@Have a sunflower🌻 That's completely understandable, you have to do what you feel is best for you right now friend, and it sounds like we all have a lot on our plates right now, so it can all get kind of overwhelming. That's a good point you make... I have been spreading myself kind of thin on here at times... one day I was on this app for 6 or 7 hours, lol. But that was 2 weeks ago I think, I haven't spent that much time on here since then I don't think. I believe it has become somewhat of an obsession, but I've been trying not to let myself get on here too much. I just like this community and a lot of the people that I've met. I've made some good friends on here I think... I just wish there was a way to add friends on here, like on Facebook. Or to send people direct messages. But no, you're not discouraging me in anyway, I'm actually glad you said something about it because I've noticed myself doing it too and I was just in denial I think. So thank you for noticing my obsessiveness on this app, lol. I really want to reach out to an OCD therapist... my wife found a therapist on the NOCD website last night who looks nice and had a nice introduction video... I'm just nervous to actually book a free call... I'm so worried about the financial end of it in the long run... I just get anxious about running out of money. I hope you and the OCD community had a great night too! I'm going to work more on taking out time for myself to just relax and enjoy my life. Hope you have a wonderful day Have a sunflower! 😀

@Have a sunflower🌻 Yeah, it feels nice to just try and take some time for myself honestly. The app and community are great and I'm so happy to be a part of it, but if I'm just on it constantly then it probably would just eventually start to turn into a bad obsession. Yes, my wife is very supportive of me, she's actually been working more to get me into therapy than I have been trying to, lol. Do they have therapists that specialize more specifically in one subtype? Like does your therapist know more about your OCD subtype than the other subtypes? That might be an odd question, but I'm just not sure how it works completely, I guess I should be doing more research but whenever I have free time I don't feel like doing OCD research, lol. And I don't currently have insurance which is why I'm stressed more about the financial end of it. I'd rather have a good grasp on my mental health rather than money or other things too though, but I guess I just want to have the assurance in my mind that the therapy will actually work, but I guess I'll never know until I try. Thank you for describing your experience with the therapists at NOCD, I do believe they would help me, my fear of them not helping me is just irrational really. You aren't making me feel pressured to get therapy though, you're just offering me good advice and information about your experience with NOCD, so I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me about NOCD and how you feel about the the therapy the do there. :) I hope you're having a great night Have a sunflower! It's always so nice talking with you friend! You're very kind hearted, easy to talk to and just a great down to earth person to talk with about life and OCD. :) so thank you Have a sunflower. Have a great night friend! 😊

@Drew777 Thank you! You are kind hearted as well and a great asset to the ocd community. In my experience, each NOCD therapist is trained to know the same information about all the subtypes. I believe they all have a lot of experience with all subtypes and the treatment is exactly the same for all subtypes. Subtypes are mostly for the ocd community to categorize certain themes that make it easier for people to connect with each other. From my experience, therapists try to not focus on subtypes as much anyway. All ocd subtypes come down to obsessions and compulsions that tend to be universal across all ocd themes and they focus on helping you identify and change the behavior associated with that. Sorry if that doesn’t make much sense and again please take it with a grain of salt because I am far from a professional. Good luck and have a good night!

@Have a sunflower🌻 Don't be sorry, what you're saying does make sense. That's actually really helpful, I guess maybe it's possible that if they spent too much time focusing on specific subtypes then they might accidentally start reassuring us about our OCD, that's just me thinking out loud though. And I agree, I think the categorization of the subtypes just makes it easier for all of us to find posts on this app that are more suited to what we specifically need help with at a given moment. Thank you for talking with me so much recently Have a sunflower, you've been very helpful. I'm glad to know we're friends on here. :) How are you today? Did anything cool or fun happen today? Or just something that brought a smile to your face today? 🙂

@Drew777 Actually, I learned today that this whole time my insurance could cover the cost of my therapy sessions. So instead of owing around $2400 so far I only owe $240 in copays🎉🥳. How about yourself? Have you and your family had a good day today?

@Have a sunflower🌻 Oh! That's awesome! I'm so glad to hear that friend! I'm sure that must be such a big help to you financially! 😀 if you don't mind my asking, what insurance do you have? I don't currently have insurance, so I'd like to go with an insurance company that NOCD accepts. But if you're not comfortable sharing that information I understand. And yeah, I've been having a good day, I just had to work a lot today though, but I'm glad to be done with work now. I hope my wife is having a good day at work, she should be leaving work soon to come home though, so I'm happy about that. And my father-in-law is buying Littke Caesars pizza tonight, so I'm looking forward to eating pizza with everyone for dinner. 😊 Oh, and I don't currently have insurance, so I'd like to go with an insurance company that NOCD accepts. But if you're not comfortable sharing that information I understand. Oh, and I saw a post earlier on this app that made me laugh and smile to myself, lol. I bookmarked it so I could read it again later whenever I need a laugh. :)

@Drew777 I accidentally copied and pasted the first part of my reply again in the later half of my reply. Oops, lol.

@Drew777 Little Caesars*

@Drew777 Haha that’s ok! I have Kaiser insurance. I believe they have a list on their website of all the insurance companies they accept that might be helpful to look into! Hope you and your family have a good night and enjoy the pizza!

Wow, that's cool! Maybe her and Minnie could be friends, lol. 😀 I think cats are lovely creatures. Grace has sharp claws and she likes to pounce on my legs and bite them sometimes, but at the end of the day I still love her and I'm glad she is our family cat. 😀

@Drew777 I love cats :) my cats have very sharp class as well 🤣 i love them though

I really appreciate your heartfelt comment Bex, I try my best to give a good and honest reply to everyone I talk to on here, so I'm glad to know that what I'm saying to people is making a difference. :) I have seen you in a good bit of threads during my time here on the app as well and I think you are a very kind and encouraging person to others as well, myself included. 😀 I will try to give Grace a hug for you the next time I see her, she will most likely scratch me though, lol. She is so easily excited and startled by everything, she wants to play all the time it seems like.

@Drew777 Thank you so much this warms my heart. Make sure to look after yourself as well as being as in couraging as you are to others. Hehe awww bless her that's so cute X.

Thank you Just Breathe... everything you said is so encouraging friend... you know, I don't say it too much to anyone, but I often times feel like a huge failure... and it scares me... 😢 but your comment is so very encouraging, truly my friend. I realize I probably put way too much pressure on myself, but that's always been something I've struggled with. I just never feel like I do as much as I could be doing. I'm glad I'm making a difference to you though Just Breathe... thanks friend... God bless you too. I'm so very glad that we're friends.

Oh, and Grace says thank you! She also says Carlton is very cute too! :)