I will not accept such a thing to happen, I will not accept anything to interfere with my physical and mental integrity because I believe that anything that is not natural can permanently change my state of health. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. I prefer to be constantly sad and try to work it out through cognitive behavioral therapy rather than putting chemical reactions in my body. Ultimately it is my right which concerns my own health and because I know very well the interests of psychiatrists I consider that such a thing is not necessary for me at the moment.From the testimonies of friends of acquaintances and online friends, I am fully informed about the symptoms and side effects. I inform you it will be many more than I would have had without the drugs. Initially migraine headaches bone pain or discomfort are just a few of them. Not to mention behavioral personality changes, the feeling of emptiness, the difficulty in love and in understanding situations, compassion and humanity. So you understand that this is one of the most important issues that will ever concern me because I do not accept anyone to change my characteristics to get rid of stress.These side effects never go away because they are no longer chemical reactions, they are not emotions that come and go but it is something chemical that has intervened in health and there is no going back. It is 100% true and proven all these years that the use of antidepressants leads the person to addiction

I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.

As my current mental health has definitely reached a new low, I will probably soon start with medication. However, since I am actually somewhat afraid of the typical side effects of antidepressants and mood-stabilizers, I wanted to ask anyone who is or has been taking medication for OCD and or depression (and mood-swings). I recently got also diagnosed with depression (I’ll be further tested for burnout) and I also suffer from pretty intense mood swings and anxiety, both really draining the last bit of energy that I currently have. You can honestly be as specific and descriptive as you want since I don’t know any people in my personal life that take any medication for their mental health and I’m genuinely curious about side effects, how long the different meds take to kick in, etc. The only meds I’m familiar with are beta blockers, specifically bisoprolol but I want to switch to propranolol.

My name is Maryam i was born in 1995 There is something weird about me that I don't know what it is when I was a child I was full of hope like I was on all the happy content drugs but I did not take anything I was just like that. But then when I went to school I started to get bullied alot sometimes in class I would zoom out like I left my body and come back to it again that happened to me alot when I was I child. But as I got older my happiness natural drugs started to fade away and I started to see the darkness bit by bit to tell you the truth I was bullied my whole school years until I I finished. But before that when I was thirteen my OCD kicked in pretty hard I was scared to do anything I didn't know what was happening to me at the time I started to do the rituals I had to otherwise my brain would punish me pretty hard but then when I was 16 or 15 I don't remember exactly I said to my self I had enough whatever my brain tells me let it happen my rituals decreased alot to non existence but in my brain I still had OCD so it never really went away. I realized recently that the OCD I have is not just a psychological problem but I have brain chemistry problem because if you have a brain chemistry issue it stays with you it can decrease but never go away I've been taking medication these last years so I can function like a normal person and I did alot of therapy recently not before But there is something about antidepressants they work in the beginning when you take them but after few months they stop being effective as they were before. So you have to rely on yourself pretty much. And also I mentioned before about the darkness that kept creeping on me as I grow up and now I feel it all the time that iam numb at this point I laugh I smile I pretend to be okay but iam hallow inside there is nothing there and the darkness inside me is loving that so that is my story If you read till the end that's cool if you couldn't I understand But that what iam at so far. If anyone can relate to anything I said please tell me so I don't feel like iam completely alone in this Thanks for reading