I will not accept such a thing to happen, I will not accept anything to interfere with my physical and mental integrity because I believe that anything that is not natural can permanently change my state of health. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. I prefer to be constantly sad and try to work it out through cognitive behavioral therapy rather than putting chemical reactions in my body. Ultimately it is my right which concerns my own health and because I know very well the interests of psychiatrists I consider that such a thing is not necessary for me at the moment.From the testimonies of friends of acquaintances and online friends, I am fully informed about the symptoms and side effects. I inform you it will be many more than I would have had without the drugs. Initially migraine headaches bone pain or discomfort are just a few of them. Not to mention behavioral personality changes, the feeling of emptiness, the difficulty in love and in understanding situations, compassion and humanity. So you understand that this is one of the most important issues that will ever concern me because I do not accept anyone to change my characteristics to get rid of stress.These side effects never go away because they are no longer chemical reactions, they are not emotions that come and go but it is something chemical that has intervened in health and there is no going back. It is 100% true and proven all these years that the use of antidepressants leads the person to addiction

I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.

As my current mental health has definitely reached a new low, I will probably soon start with medication. However, since I am actually somewhat afraid of the typical side effects of antidepressants and mood-stabilizers, I wanted to ask anyone who is or has been taking medication for OCD and or depression (and mood-swings). I recently got also diagnosed with depression (I’ll be further tested for burnout) and I also suffer from pretty intense mood swings and anxiety, both really draining the last bit of energy that I currently have. You can honestly be as specific and descriptive as you want since I don’t know any people in my personal life that take any medication for their mental health and I’m genuinely curious about side effects, how long the different meds take to kick in, etc. The only meds I’m familiar with are beta blockers, specifically bisoprolol but I want to switch to propranolol.

I had OCD earlier in life, but it came and gone. For the last 4.5 it's been one thing after another, though. Today I felt especially grossed out by my POCD and I feellike I'm losing last hope that I had. I hate to sound awfully dramatic, but I want to clarify things a little bit and ask for advice. So I've been taking antidepressants up until some point, had a break and then started taking them again. In the beginning of this month, I finally finished that second course. This time it lasted 1.5 years. It's important to note that for the last half year I was pretty proactive in finding solutions to my ocd, finding new methods and reading articles. It probably did help, but mostly in short-term. Today I felt like my symptoms (it's mainly groinal response) were scaringly prominent and it made me really depressed. Do I have to start all over? It never got good enough in the first place, so I'm not even sure if it's possible to cure. I admit I might've not been pushing myself enough to do the scariest possible things, but that doesn't mean I didn't do ERP. Now, to the venting part. I'm not sure if anything really helped: if I'm relaxed it's probably just a matter of good mood. I'm anxious when going outside. I feel like I don't deserve friends because of my "dirty" secret -- I feel incredibly ashamed for groinal sensations. There were times when I'm sure it wasn't a phantom feeling, but a real one I caused. But I can't undo anything, so it has to stay with me. My family really loves me, so of course killing myself was never an option. But I still hate myself. I'm too tired to keep on fighting with OCD and bearing the burden of those very shameful events is too hard. What do I do? Maybe I'm just not adapted to living without antidepressants, so I'm being too emotional and all I should do is continue doing ERP. But my point is that I'm too exhausted. Thank you for reading. I see many here have a similar problem, I hope you're staying strong. I'd love to help you all, but I'm afraid that right now I'm not suit for giving out good life advice