"Where do I start?" I have hocd (or sexual orientation ocd) and ughh Is so frustrating I can't imagine or think about relationships with the opposite sex... like I try to see a guy but in my mind is like: "No no no. It maybe seems like a man but in the inside is a woman and you know that. Because now you doesn't know if you like them, touché stupid!" and I hate this. I don't know how to scape from this. I have been triying to be okay with all of this because is not a bad thing. I'm also going to a good therapist I guess. God bless I can talk about this to her and to all of you. But the day to day is draving me crazy. That degenerates in a transexual or nb ocd because this makes me think there are no genres anymore or something. That I'm always wrong about it. And I don't even know why. I'm okay with my body. I'm okay with who I am. I was really okay with who I felt attracted. I can't write stories properly, and that was a thing I used to love. I can't feel it real anymore. And sometimes I feel like I don't want to see my best friends or meet new ones, I'm afraid of people of my own sex sometimes and is so embarrasing. I can't even enjoy reading a book because of the characters... or watching a movie or a series. I can't distract myself, is everywhere. I wish this would end someday. Im okay with anxiety. I have fought it before but these 4 months, and counting, are being the worst of my life... I know I have to keeo fighting and try to be positive but... nothing is easy anymore.

It's all ok don't worry! OCD will not win. I understand the overwhelming feeling you may be feeling but every thing reaches a peak and it all comes back down again. Sometimes it takes longer than other things but it will be fine. Overactive OCD is annoying but you can beat this. You have to think about what you stand for. You are not your thoughts, YOU ARE YOU. The girl who used to love writing and reading. If you were once her, then you can be her again! It's science! This time you will be someone who's been through the darkest days but came out on top! If you think about your life before OCD got bad and think about it now, what's the difference? The difference is nothing, you are just worried about conspiracies you've made (OCD has made) but to accept these aren't real and you are always the same person you were you will be able to be you again. I wish you the best :) because I know what it's like to be depressed about not feeling how you used to. I write music myself and my ocd never affected it, and recently it tried. But music is my one passion, and I said to myself "NO WAY" I will not let this affect that, I love it way too much. And everyday I'm getting better at writing because my mind knows I will not fall for anything taking away music :) In the end of the day your mind is you, and only you can make yourself better.

Thank you Logan ♡ I really try to keep writing and creating but is too much exhausting sometimes, so trapped in the same rabbit hole. When I feel safe in it I am so happy but those times are so little... thank you, really. I don't feel so lonely or so desperate about ocd.

No problem :) I'm glad you don't feel so lonely. Remember we've all been through dark times here? but are still standing! When you talked about reading and writing it really struck me because the same thing happened with me and reading. I'm tired of having these hobbies I love being taken away from me. We can get through this :)

Start with cbt and Erp

With psychologist is better!!!

Yes... I do the practices with her. But I just feel I'm not going to get better than now... sorry

Pff me too but I hope..:(

Thank you, I already practice. But I don't feel like that is working a lot...