- Username
- Meghin Lisi
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm 45 now. I've had OCD since I was 8 and never knew it. OCD was never even on my radar until last month. I thought OCD was just handwashing and liking things neat and organized. I never had either of those. But once I started researching and learning more about obsessions and compulsions and the different subtypes, things started to click. Things I had previously labeled as a personality quirk finally made sense. I had no idea the things I was thinking and experiencing weren't normal. I thought everyone struggled the way I did.
About a month or two it all just hit me out of nowhere until I started looking up what it was. I thought I could handle it on my own by watching videos until my second panic attack/nervous breakdown which drove me to reach out for help with NOCD.
Ehhh I had a subclinical โnoteโ, not dx in 2013, but only got an official dx maybe three weeks ago (with my NOCD therapist). So if we include BFRBs in the struggle, about 30 years ๐
I've had it since middle school (so somewhere between 6th and 8th grade). I got diagnosed my second year of college, after an incident with my RA. I also had a roommate who was reporting every little thing that she "noticed" about me that bothered her, without actually talking to me. It ended up going through Judicial Affairs, which transferred it to the counseling center for psychological evaluation. After reading off the accusations against me and not getting the response they wanted because 1) I was freaking out at this point and 2) it was reported from the point of view of my roommate/RA and the situations didn't register the same way in my POV (I had to sort of think through what was reported and try to figure out what they were referring to, which I was able to do a bit better after the ordeal was over). They then wanted a psychiatric evaluation. I called my parents in a panic (which made the list longer because my roommate apparently decided the reason I wanted to talk privately on the phone was because I must have been talking about her). I/my parents convinced them to have the evaluation as a meeting with the head of the counseling center with my parents present, instead of with the psychiatrist, partially because my dad was afraid they were going to force medication on me (I know, not how it works). We had the meeting and the director suggested that I might have OCD, which I pretty much self diagnosed myself at 12 or 13, but now my parents actually started to believe it. She told me if I didn't treat it I might end up depressed. They gave me a "medical single," which basically means I jumped the line for a single dorm room instead of being put on a wait list, which is how people usually get a single. Of course, I got angry after that whole ordeal and wanted nothing to do with counselors for a while. The next evaluation came last year when I pursued it on my own. That counseling lasted a few months until she went on maternity. When she tried to resume I decided not to continue because I felt we weren't making progress, she was letting me talk more than help with erp (partially my fault as well, I was having a hard time with the hierarchy), wasn't listening, and was pushing supplements after I told her not to. Then in February I had a full evaluation with NOCD, but I was in the process of switching jobs and had to postpone therapy. I also had no insurance at that moment. I finally settled and checked if my insurance was accepted at NOCD, and it is only out of network, which doesn't work for me. I'm now on to the next evaluation with an OCD Center, who might take my insurance (although I still need to double check with them).
Over 15 years now.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond