I've recently started to identify less with being a Christian and now I can't stop thinking about what if I actually want to be a Muslim. Idk much about Islam, it's cool, but it literally feels like I'm going to convert and idk what to do. Ignore this? But questioning isn't a bad thing in itself I'm just freaking out

Why is my mind saying I should say my thoughts out loud and that it will be ok, I don't want to because it goes against my beliefs and it freaks me out because my mind is like you've done this and this an other bad things this can't hurt you, saying it will give you peace and it just randomly started yesterday and idk what to do. It's like I have no will power to want to stop it's like my mind wants me to say it and idk what to do.

I’m Christian, and I suddenly had a loss of faith. I’m praying constantly and as anxious and scared that God hasn’t chosen me for this religion, even though I believe in it whole heartedly. My brain is telling me these things, and saying how I would be fit for Islam or something else, even though I am perfectly happy being a Christian. I keep getting intrusive thoughts and feelings about not believing in my religion, and whenever I confess how I do believe, my brain tells me I’m lying or I feel otherwise. It makes me feel guilty and abandoned and alone. I still read my Bible and pray CONSTANTLY. Please help (sorry if this is hard to understand I am ranting)

Backstory: I was raised heavily Christian on my dad's side up until about middle school but then was sort of transitioned away from it and was atheist/didn't think about it. Then towards the end of middle school and through high school I was pushed heavily by my mother's side (and by the internet) into more spiritual practices. Both of which triggered my OCD a lot. After realizing how much they affected my mental health I tried to get as far away from both as possible for a while. But now I'm receiving a LOT of signs to turn back to religion but this time Islam???? I don't know it's hard to describe but I feel very conflicted. There's a lot I don't agree with in the religion. It has a lot of the same contradictions and stuff that Christianity had that I can't get behind but also like... What if I'm wrong. I also keep doing these mental gymnastics to try and make everything I disagree with make sense and look at things in different perspectives than other people. There's a lot about the religion that compels me too, much more than Christianity. But now I'm scared to do anything sinful, even things that I used to feel no guilt for. The guilt is the WORST. I feel bad for things I shouldn't feel bad for. The other thing is I'm very queer, and trans masculine. I know that makes me sound crazy. That part of me is screaming not to do this. But the part of me that's compelling me back to religion is telling me that I would actually feel okay being straight and a woman if I accepted Islam. It's the ONLY thing that's made me feel like that would be comfortable and okay for myself. Maybe that in of itself is a sign that it's the truth. It's insane that I would actually feel that way. I would even be okay wearing hijab and everything, dressing modest and feminine. But on the other hand I will ALWAYS be a science first person. That directly contradicts one of the key ideas of Islam, that the Quran is the exact word of God and that it is unchanged. My particular issue being that I will never believe in creationism. At the same time I know that my dad would have been extremely proud of me for finding God. While he did renounce organized religion towards the end of his life (he was also very sick and on a lot of medication) he still very much believed in God and wished that for his children. Part of me feels that even though I cannot find God in Christianity he would still be proud of me for finding God in Islam. But I also feel a lot of my identity has been formed around the spiritual practices of my mom's side of the family. That is also what I'm constantly surrounded by and what is largely expected of my. I do fear falling too deep into those beliefs was the worst for my OCD though. I was constantly worried about all the things I "needed" to do or else I would have bad consequences. I even believed I was the reason of my father's death at some point. I might still believe that to a degree. I'm afraid I can't really talk about this with anyone because Im afraid I would come off as someone who just wants to parade around Islamic culture while cherry picking what I want from it. That might even be the case idk. I could just be randomly finding something to build an identity around because of some narcissistic need for attention. Idk someone tell me what I should do.