OCD and fear is robbing me of the most happy moments of my life. My husband and I just bought our first house, an event that should be one of the happiest of our lives. However, I am miserable. All I can think about is that one of the walls of my daughters bedroom is shared with the kitchen and the refrigerator. Since my obsession right now is radiation, my mind is convinced that I’m harming her by exposing her to the radiation coming from that wall into her room. I would sell this house if I could even if my husband divorced me. That’s how bad my anxiety is and my need to bring my child to safety. Everyone just tells me how crazy I am and how nobody would even consider my concern a real one. But this is driving me insane. I’m starting to believe that I’m just addicted to this anxiety feeling because there is always something that I worry/obsess about no matter what. Im just exhausted.

I have severe OCD and I experience all different types of intrusive thoughts and compulsions I fucking hate it! But one thing I struggle with the most is POCD! It makes me violently sick and disturbed but I know it’s not me and I know it’s not true but then why do I feel so disgusting? I have two children, one 5 and the other is 1, I don’t want to change my daughters nappys I don’t want to get her dressed (of course I do because I don’t have a choice) but it triggers me so bad and gets me in a state, I don’t know how to get over this I’ve had this certain thought for over six weeks and I can’t do it anymore, I’m so distressed they deserve better, why can’t I just be a normal person, I’ve actually thought about giving them up over these thoughts it’s breaking me and it’s breaking my heart, I actually can’t try beat this anymore.

I suffer with harm and intrusive thoughts about my children. Sometimes I'm good sometimes I feel like a crazed woman. I was trying to put my 2 year old to bed last night and I was so scared something was going to happen but I fought through and my son was being wild as always lol and jumping on my belly and I had my hand on his chest for support and then he moved and I scratched him right below his neck on accident but when I woke up this morning I felt like I did something bad. This constant worry is driving me mad. I know deep down it was an accident but my OCD brain wants me to think it was intentional. Can ANYONE RELATE/? I FEEL SO ALONE

I have been with my SO going in 13 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. We got married in 2021 and welcomed a baby girl in the world last year. I had a severe mental breakdown in 2013 that landed me in the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. That breakdown nearly destroyed our relationship. I had severe intrusive thoughts and felt the need to tell him all of them. I felt like if I didn’t tell him, I was lying. I destroyed his self esteem, telling him all of the mean thoughts I had about him. I would feel the need to tell him anytime I saw an attractive guy in public, I questioned our relationship and told him I wasn’t sure if I loved him anymore. It was bad and very dark. Fast forward to now and I feel like I’m letting him down in different ways. I don’t feel the need to tell him every thought I have now but since having my daughter my OCD and depression seem to be getting worse. I just feel like I’m no longer happy and my daughter should’ve had a mom that wasn’t damaged like me. Didn’t have the abusive childhood like me. Wasn’t broken like me. I feel so much guilt. It’s putting such a strain on our relationship and I feel like my husband deserves someone better. Someone whose happier.