Here’s a sum up of OCD i wrote (i’ll involve examples at the end):
Ocd urges are the literal worse. Like anything associated with lgbtq / lesbians i get the urge to do, regardless of what it is and whether I want to or mot. That’s the entire point of ocd urges.
Then you get unknown anxiety at the thought of not doing it, and then you get anxiety about having anxiety about mot doing it and worry that means the initial thought is true & you want that.
^times that anxiety is even worse than the initial anxiety.
There’s also times when you’ll literally think about your thought, and won’t get any anxiety. You get more anxiety at it almost not being true, and then you start freaking out about THAT.
Nothing satisfies you. Nothing satisfies OCD.
And sometimes it even feels like its true and you want it, and in those moments you just lay there sad and scared and paralyzed, almost as if your body and brain have a mind of its own.
It’s a never ending cycle, cause what you believe is true you don’t want to be true. So you will constantly be at war.
Ex:
1. Someone with pocd will believe they’re a pedophile, but don’t want to be.
2. Someone with so-ocd will believe they’re gay / straight / bi, but don’t want to be.
3. Someone with harm ocd will believe they’re a sociopath / going to act out & hurt people, but don’t want to be / don’t want to.
4. Someone with real event ocd will believe they’re a horrible person, but don’t want to be.
You’ll do anything to prove your not, but ocd will never be satisfied. That’s the entire point of the disorder. It can become as real as reality, but even then it’s so hard. The only way to cure this is accepting uncertainty, accepting the possibility.