- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
ocd, in my understanding, is common to cause dissociation/derealization which can make reality feel different and amplify fears that theyve lost touch or gone "crazy". ive heard dissociation can even be a compulsion. also, concern about experiencing psychosis or schizophrenia is not an unheard of obsession. but i can say, doubting whether your experience of reality is accurate or not is a painful pit of despair. but the fear comes and goes like the wind if we let it pass through us. this what im working in but its really difficult
- Date posted
- 4y
Does this also mean like doing something you don’t want to do? Or feeling like your actions aren’t your own?
- Date posted
- 4y
like you feel like you want to do something, you do it, and then wonder why you did it because it wasn’t right? Idk if that makes sense
- Date posted
- 4y
@Plaisie i actually have this same question. ive had urges to do wrong things, and i didnt want to do them, but the thought (which in this case was about doing drugs) would not leave me and i didnt know about ocd. i knew about intrusive thoughts, but not that much. my therapist at the time didnt catch that i had ocd and tried to convince me i wasnt addicted. he didnt understand the intensity of the urge and dismissed it as a baseless anxiety. so it didnt help. i would start thinking that maybe if i tried a drug my urge would go away-- thats how addiction works right? (thats what i thought)-- even though it gave me really intense anxiety and was counter intuitive. i was desperate, the thought was excruciating and the only action that my body was telling me i could do (if i was indeed an addict) was take the drug. it confuses me because they say in ocd you are afraid of doing things but wouldnt actually do them. and then i did do it (all the while physically trembling with anxiety and selfloathing, heart racing, muggy palms, not enjoying the drug one little bit) and yet i acted on it. i was, in an odd tangle of obsession and compulsion, doing a drug so that i would stop feeling like i needed to do a drug. but it didnt work longterm and the thoughts returned after awhile. ive been afraid to tell anyone but now understanding ocd i know the urge was not because im an addict, and i feel comfortable bringing it up with a doctor (i have since switched therapists). thats my little story. hopefully you will feel that you arent the only one. ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
@Manz Ohhhhhhhh…..I had that the other day where I felt like I was trying to find underage pornography on YouTube. Obviously I didn’t find any but it just felt wrong the whole time, like I hated doing it but was tired of hearing my thoughts
- Date posted
- 4y
@Manz And I honestly am so glad that I never found anything bad or didn’t hurt anyone…ocd is nuts
- Date posted
- 4y
@Plaisie i have had that urge too. [trigger warning]. its terrifying. for me it has been further complicated by the fact that looking at anything that could be remotely wrong (even cartoon depictions of women in a deragatory way) i thought my physical anxiety was arousal. i actually discovered ocd because i was googling trying to see how i could be aroused by something that repulsed me and made me feel bad and didnt align with any of my values, or real life relationships and attractions, or any of the other things i was doing in my life. when i found out how anxiety can be mistaken for arousal (i thought i got aroused doing the drugs too) i somehow found my way to a moral scrupulosity ocd website and couldnt believe how much i related. i told my psychiatrist about ocd and she agreed. since then the urge hasnt been nearly as strong and i feel more confident because i know im not addicted, im not attracted to those things, and anxiety is not arousal. thats given me tremendous hope. ive been very suicidal in the past because id rather die than harm anyone. but i never could talk about it because i thought no one would help me. now im so hopeful. stay away from porn if you can, and let your doc help you see that the urges are not you and they will go away without you having to give them any attention. i have yet to see an erp doc, but have been able to implement some ideas already and resist drugs and porn. its helped in other less prominent obsessions, but everything in my life seems to have been shaped by ocd so its going to take time. im in perpetual doubt and fear about most things in all areas of my life. it sucks
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve been triggered so bad this week I’ve had bad anxiety and feel depression coming on. Last night I had a thought oh let’s plan it and I immediately thought why would I think that and started crying bad. I’ve had these thoughts for 7 months I really don’t know why I’m having these thoughts, if I knew I would work on it. Like people say has something happened in your life for you to have these thoughts and nothing has happened, it all started off from what if thoughts , like “what if I’m a psycho” because I saw this fb post saying introverts are more likely to become psychopaths and it all spiralled from there I started getting thoughts about harm towards others and myself. What do you think guys should I treat it like ocd or do you think there’s something seriously wrong with me.
- Date posted
- 17w
Does ocd tells possiblity of what will happen in your life so ocd is telling truth only?
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- Harm OCD
- Older adults with OCD
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- Date posted
- 16w
My OCD diagnosis is still very new, but now that I know what it is, it is clearly something I’ve had for as long as I can remember. Contamination/bugs and health have been a consistent theme since childhood, but religious/existential themes emerged during adolescence. Around that same time, there was also a good deal of trauma, and during middle school I started experiencing hallucinations. Tactile (like bugs crawling on me or biting me, an eyelash being stuck in my eye, but nothing was really there); visual (like moving shadows or things that would dart past in my periphery, and then I would just have intrusive thoughts of scary things around corners or under things); and auditory (an angry male voice that grumbles or yells indistinctly, or a high pitched noise like a microphone/speaker feedback but muffled and less sharp). Because of the religious denomination I grew up in, I initially assumed these were demons and tried to address it that way, but when I was 14 or 15, it occurred to me that those voices/sounds sounded like the way I felt, and the visual/tactile experiences happened during times of stress too — and so all of those experiences could just be seen as an expression of a fragmented part of myself. That acceptance didn’t make them go away — I still experience them now and I’m in my 30s — but it made those experiences less scary and more manageable. I also see now how these all pop up specifically when OCD obsessions are super triggered and when I’m super sleep deprived. Anyway! Since this diagnosis, and talking about the hallucinations at all, are new to me, I am wondering who else has had similar experiences. I don’t really know how much of the hallucination experience is OCD versus trauma, but it seems like this might all make sense under the “quasi-hallucination” label.
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