- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
That's a lot to feel! Definitely something ive really related to, and Ive gotten to a much better place i never thought I could be. There are ways to cope, you might not be able to make much change but eventually it might happen anyway
- Date posted
- 3y
eventually the hopeful change might happen anyway :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Yeah, I've struggled with that same feeling of "why did I do this specific action repeatedly for so long, now I just feel guilt about it". But over time it has gotten better and it no longer bothers me as bad as it once did, and I'm so glad that I no longer live in that unecessary guilt day by day. We all make mistakes though, even continuing to make that same mistake for months or sometimes years at a time, but the important thing is that we learn from them and that we maybe even start seeing things in a different light over time. But even if there is something you feel that you've done that is "wrong", even if just in your own eyes, living in guilt and shame over it won't solve anything. Look to the future of what you want to start doing now because of what you feel that you have learned from past experiences. The past is in the past, but the future isn't written, but with that being said it doesn't mean we might not slip up again at some point along the way, we just have to keep trying our best, and by doing that we'll already be making progress. Don't give up friend. You've got this. I hope and pray that your journey down this path of taking your new medication and dealing with this new theme in your OCD will go as good as it possibly can, and I pray that your anxiety will soon start to subside and that you'll find peace through all of this. God bless Have a sunflower! I hope you have a great night friend! :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 You're not annoying me at all Have a sunflower, I was afraid I was annoying you with all of my talk to you about Christianity in one of my other replies. It can be really difficult to move forward from things in our past sometimes, but all we can do is take it one day at a time, just keep having hope. Stay strong friend! :) I hope talking to your therapist helps you today friend! I'm glad we can all do our best to help you in your time that you are struggling. We will continue to be here you every step of the way! :) don't be afraid to reach out on here anytime friend! I may not always reply right away, but I'm doing the best that I can right now. Life has been kind of busy recently, lol. Have a great rest of your day friend! God bless! 😀
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 We will continue to be here for you every step of the way!*
- Date posted
- 3y
@Drew777 Thank you! Please remember to take time for yourself. You help so much here but I don’t want you to feel obligated to continually come on here and help others and leave you no time for yourself. This is just my opinion, but people with ocd struggle with responsibility and I don’t want you to feel responsible for people on here and feel like you can’t take a step back when you need it. I hope life has been busy in a good way but if it hasn’t you are strong and will get through it!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Yeah, I've been trying to work on taking more time for myself. And I actually have been getting on this app a lot less than I used to, yesterday I just had some free time on my hands because I was in the waiting room at the hospital, so I just felt like it was a good time to get on this app yesterday. And yeah, I do struggle with feeling the need to take responsibility for everyone around me, but I'm working on that too. :) I'm learning to take a step back sometimes, but it's a struggle at times. And yeah, life hasn't necessarily been busy in a good or bad way, it's just been busy with work mostly, but nothing "bad" particularly, except my OCD keeping my mind busy I guess, lol. But that's always a work in progress for all of us. But you know, it's just cool to me being able to keep up with people on here, I like get on this app and just see how my friends are doing every day, even if just for a little bit. I believe we'll all get through this, we just can't give up. :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Drew777 I hope I didn’t make you feel like you have to justify the time spent on here! If I did, my apologies! I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to be on here even when life gets overwhelming. Im glad you are finding a good balance with taking care of yourself and others! Again, sorry if I came off patronizing at all 😬.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Have a sunflower🌻 Oh no! 😮 You didn't come off patronizing in the slightest friend! I didn't feel like I had to justify myself for my time spent on here, I just started rambling about all of it, which I tend to do, lol. I'm not always the greatest at finding time to take care of myself, but at the same time I feel like I take too much time for myself... I realize that is extremely contradicting... but it's just how I feel sometimes. I hope at least that makes some sense.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Drew777 That absolutely makes sense! It’s easy to feel guilty for doing something for yourself. I feel guilty for practically everything at this point 😬
- Date posted
- 3y
I hope that at least makes some sense.*
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 15w
I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹
- Date posted
- 14w
i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond