It’s 3:30am, and my sleep meds should be kicking in. I stopped reading my book to figure out how old my grandparents were during the setting. Definitely ADD, possibly OCD in the way in which I wrote it down and checked my math. But also, it just feels like me. It’s not a school book, so OCD doesn’t should rules so much, and I have the time to take side steps. Reminds me that some of what we do could be labeled as OCD or ADD or another ailment, but as per most entries in the DSMs, illness brings one distress. I don’t feel any distress from this now large reading distraction. In fact, right now I’m smiling while thinking about my grandparents on the beach with the characters. Monk may have gotten that line right about it being a gift and a curse. (Others focused on his gift; he reminded them of the curse.). But maybe we can sometimes embrace when our brains are atypical. I know I won’t take my ADD meds while being creative. My “space cadet” ADD helps my mind open to new things. I tend to think of my OCD as just a jerk, but maybe it’s taught me some good too. Here’s to a good side of our worst enemy. And to drifting off dreaming of one’s grandparents hanging out together on the beach. 🥰💜💪🏼

I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.

I've had this app for awhile and was really nervous to post,comment or like anything.I still am,and frankly I've been having a really rough time which mostly includes ocd symptom,guilt/shame and agoraphobia which is not a fun combo but a small part of me is so tired of hiding and feeling awful all the time,even if at times I feel like I deserve it.I've been wanting to dabble into my hobbies like drawing or gaming but even my hobbies have been stressful & these negative feelings have been so awful for so long that I feel like I'm standing between two roads all the time yet feel horrified and worried either path when it comes to almost any decision will be wrong or not worth it in the end(and I hate that I feel like so.).I'm sure people can relate but the heavy loneliness and dehumanizing feelings is so awful,it's so good at it too.😭 I'm not diagnosed yet but I share alot of symptoms (interested to figure that out about myself soon.),but until I get medical insurance figured out I don't think I'll have access to professional help yet so for now I've just been watching some professionals online and I might finally read 'Freedom From Obsessive Personality Disorder' and see what it can offer.ANYWAYS,I'm trying to force myself to post so I can to people irl and online in any way I can train my brain to not stay so terrified of everything/everyone so,how has your day been?I hope it's been going well,if you've read this book or have any good suggests please feel free to let me know!

Lately, my mood shifts so frequently. A couple of minutes ago, I got triggered and decided that instead of doing a compulsion, I'd write in my journal (since I haven't done that in a while). But after writing not even half a page... I'm okay? Well, sorta! 😭 I'm experiencing a resurgence in old obsessions, which is disappointing. A couple of weeks back, I was doing a lot better, but now it's just one thing after another. Really wish therapy was more affordable. I'm already seeing my psychiatrist, but she wants me to see a specialist as well. When I think about living with this for the rest of my life, I can get a little emotional. I know it'll get easier to manage as time passes, and it might not even affect me in the future, but right now...? It's a lot of work I'll need to do to overcome this. I'm willing to do it, but I get discouraged at times... But that's enough of my little vent! I hope anyone who reads this is doing okay. Hang in there 🤍