someone please reply i need help

i feel better now thank you for replying! i know i will be okay it's just hard with my theme (i really hope this is ocd) to accept that it's okay because i don't want to and it makes it feel like the end of the world. i have gay friends and i couldn't give less of a shit who they're dating (i don't mean it in a bad way, i mean it as in i am not homophobic) but when it comes to me i just don't want to.

@Lilyrosalynd Even if you were gay, you wouldn’t have to date and have sex with girls. You are still free to live your life how you wish.

i just saw something that brought flashbacks of something i used to do as a kid and i have been crying for 30 mins

@Lilyrosalynd and i can't say it's a false memory because i strongly think that i did it i am like 90% sure and more

@Lilyrosalynd and i should be even more panicking and distressed that i am because this is like the ultimate proof from my childhood and i am pretty sure that i did it

@con no, but it doesn't even need analysing it's so obvious. no straight person would do that

@con it's not even twisted it's real and it's the ultimate proof

@con but dude it's so real and it's such a strong proof of it!! no straight person would do that! i really don't want to like women but it seems like there's no other way. and this is such a ground breaking proof! and i am so sure it happened and i keep on getting flashbacks

@Lilyrosalynd and it's like i keep on checking the time to make sure i cry for enough to "prove" this is ocd. do you think someone with ocd might still end up gay????? there's no way i'm not

@Lilyrosalynd i have been hitting my head a lot and i cut my wrist like 6 times and i feel like it's because i just can't accept that i am gay. do you think this might still be hocd????????

@con i am because no other straight person would do that

@Lilyrosalynd for one second i told myself to shut up and stop crying because i heard my mum's footsteps and I did and i felt almost alright. someone who's having a real breakdown wouldn't be able to do that, therefore i am faking it to prove this is ocd

@con please help me that memory is such a strong proof i can't do this anymore there's no way i am straight and there's no way this is hocd