Please don't feel bad for admitting this, its more common than you think even for those suffering with something other than OCD. You're life has revovled around it for so long, it's not you but it was apart of you, imagine someone being let out of prison after so many years with their life having a set routine and they now have full control to make their own routine that is a daunting task. Whilst they don't want to go back to that gloomy life of sitting in a prison cell the majority of the time, it was apart of how they lived for so long so they now need to find new ways to live, a new purpose for living and whether we like to admit it or not OCD does give you a purpose, regardless of if its a good one, its a purpose nevertheless. Us humans love routine, take that away from us and we go a little mad so it's completely normal the way your feeling, so don't beat yourself over it.
Try to find things that OCD made difficult to do and try them again, or maybe try new things, write a list of things that bring you immense happiness and try to go from there.