So I just wanna speak some stuff out that I keep going back and forth on to hopefully give me some clarity. (Feel free to share your own stories if you have gone through something similar, I’d love to get different perspectives!). So I’m a sophomore in college and spent my whole freshman year doing classes online from home. In august I moved in and had the most intense panic attacks I’ve ever experienced. Eventually I chose to take a leave of absence for this semester and I’ve been working on becoming mentally healthier and focusing on doing things I want that I never made time for before. So now I’m conflicted on whether I should go back to the school I’m currently enrolled in which is 5 hours away from home or transfer to a school I can commute to. Luckily I have some really good schools within driving distance but I also like the school I am currently in. It’s well known and has really good academics. At the moment I’m leaning towards transferring because I would be able to continue seeing my therapist, have my own room where I have space to work on myself, I would have my own car, and some more stuff. I’m kind of at the point where I feel like either my ocd is subconsciously trying to sabotage me so I don’t go to school at all or my pride is holding me back. I also feel so much less confident applying to schools this time around compared to before. I don’t know what it is but I’m scared of rejection ( even tho if I’m rejected from schools close to home I would just go back to my original school). I wrote my essay yesterday and now I keep feeling like it’s not good enough. Writing this actually helped so much. I feel like the issue is less about what school I go to but gaining confidence in myself and my capabilities.