ever since this theme started its been trying to make me think i’m attached in another way to almost every friend of mine and i just want to be into my person, this is so draining

i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching

my relationship ocd theme is back and it hasn’t for a while. i keep having intrusive thoughts about a friend even tho i have a boyfriend of 6 years. i like do not like this person they are good looking but im not like into them. i like feel guilty for no reason and i feel like i need to tell my boyfriend even tho like we’ve been through this before and it only gets better if i tell him but if i don’t i feel like im hiding something. AHH like i don’t even wanna see that person anymore

There’s this guy I just worked with who honestly felt like another version of me, someone who I could get along with massively. Everything we’d talk about was the same, our interest, our taste in films and music, it felt amazing to have someone to chat to. I can’t lie he was also physically very much my type, so I do fancy him. I said to my friend that I think I found the love of my life, but the sad thing is he’s taken so I’ll take having a crush dip and suppress the fact I fancy him and she went all serious with me. Started saying “good because that can ruin a friendship, especially with a girlfriend”, and it wasn’t meant to be so deep and now it’s got me massively overthinking. I’ve only known him a very short time but I wanted a friendship to be there yk, we’ll never really see one another every again after the festival but it felt nice to have had such a good friendship, even if I feel like I’m another life he would be the perfect one. Can I not feel like that and still have a friendship? I’m never gonna do anything about it, I currently like someone else and he also has a gf, but can I not joke about it without it being all serious? I’m massively overthinking it