I'm such a weirdo for having peculiar OCD urges. I keep sticking my index finger into my nose as deep as I can. I want to stop but the urge is strong 😔

Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before

I need advice. I’m constantly washing my hands after going to the bathroom/touching something I find gross, but it doesn’t stop at just washing. I have to keep washing til I feel right (usually 3-4 times). It also isn’t just my hands, I go all the way up my forearms. I know in my head that once is enough. But I can’t kick this repetitive behavior. I know I should just start only washing it once but I don’t know if I can handle the panic that will come after. I need advice/tips if anyone’s gone through something similar what worked for you. Im just sick of this

My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.