Everything is getting so much worse especially these stupid visions that feel so real that I feel I'm not here anymore I'm just trapped in my own mind with these visions anf I feel it's making me fade away and losing my mind , am I going to be crazy? ...i think I'm already tho

As someone who has suffered from debilitating OCD throughout my life, I can completely understand. It is a vicious cycle. The invasive thoughts are the worst. And the more you try to ignore it the stronger it gets, it seems. At one point I felt I couldn’t longer handle it. I just wanted the thoughts and compulsions to end. I even begged my doctor to give me ECT therapy (shock therapy). I was at my wits end. I tried so many drugs that I can’t even name them all. Sometimes they would help but only marginally. And most had side effects that were intolerable at times. Some of the drugs actually made the OCD worse. I would get nightmares. I would go to bed with dread, and wake up with dread. It’s a constant state of fear that unless you suffer from OCD you could not understand. So let me tell you I understand. It is incredibly lonely mental disease to have. If I had a dollar for every time somebody said to me “ just think about something else “ or “Do things to keep yourself busy” etc… I’d have a huge stack of dollar bills. Explaining OCD to somebody who does not have it is like trying to explain color to a person who has never had sight. Even doctors don’t understand. All they can do is tell you what they learned in a textbook, and based on what they have experienced with other OCD patients. My OCD is always going to be there and I have accepted that, but it’s just a matter of managing it and trying to get the most quality out of life as possible. This would be my plan of attack: First of all, accept that OCD is something that you like we will have to live with just as diabetic people have to live with diabetes. There is no magic cure for OCD, and really no drug that treats it. You also need understand that you are not your brain. You are completely separate from your brain. You are not your thoughts. You are the unmanifested consciousness that resides in your body. Your brain is merely a tool. That’s really all it is. You are the watcher of the projections and thoughts that come from your brain. You are not putting these thoughts and compulsions into your brain, it is the other way around. Your brain is actually putting these thoughts into YOU. I know this sounds crazy but I like to think of my brain as a bratty kid who constantly wants attention. The more I pay attention to it, the more it will act up because it knows it will get a reaction out of me. stop and think for a second of how you really should treat a bratty child that is spoiled and trying to get your attention. The best thing to do is not to engage. ingnore. I know it’s hard when there’s a screaming bratty kid in your head and you just want to shut it up, but you have to trek through the tantrums. You have to trek through the thoughts that it’s pushing into yourself. More power you have over your mind the less power it will have over you. Remember on the other side of all the screaming in your head there is peace. Behind all noise there is silence. You have to find that silence beyond all that noise. You can get there, but it takes practice. You need to be the watcher of the bratty kid that is your mind. When a bad thought projects from your mind, observe it as a third-party. I have found that separating myself from my brain has been the only real relief for me. And it is the kind of relief that is long term and the relief is stronger and stronger as I get more power over my brain. I highly recommend reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It goes into this far more deeply. Sometimes my brain will still try and throw little tantrum‘s (OCD thoughts) here and there. And you want to know what I do? I roll my eyes! I don’t fight with it ( remember it wants a reaction out of you ) . I quietly observe it, and the feelings it brings along with it. Then it fades away. Just remember, things will get better. They will. Especially if you don’t engage. Remember your thoughts are not who you are. Your consciousness is far more powerful than any thoughts could ever be! Most importantly don’t lose hope! Don’t ever lose hope!

Thank you so much and I'm trying my best I swear.. I know it's never easy and especially because it's not just ocd that I've I've other couple of things my brain is such a big mess, but everything takes time and I know it's not me I never stop trying I just really hope I'm not going nuts because this is what it feels like......... And I've no more words to speak but after all THANK YOU

It's alucinations?

Yes it feels so real

Try to speak with a therapist maybe?But you're not crazy.Dont worry with that.Relax.

I've been doing this for years and I'm sick of the pills and of what they say that doesn't make any difference and it just gets worse

And I stopped all the medications lately tbh

You shouldn't stop drastically.Its important to find someone you trust.Anybody.Profissional

Or not profissional...

Very nice explanation...For everybody.In my case I also had other problems.I beated heroin.Im clean for 11 years.Alcohol.8 years.But of course depression,anxiety and pure O are still here.I can't wait to start therapy for real and win this battle.