I hate when hocd trying to convince me that i like women and need to breake up with my partner because i can't be with him cause of "my orientation"

Yeah, i know about it, but it also scares me

@xqrsljk What’s scary about it?

@Maybe,MaybeNot I don't want to be with women maybe this, and i love my partner and want to be with him

@xqrsljk Exactly. So first of all you just said the opposite of what you are afraid of. So somewhere deep down you know what you want. But even if you aren’t sure… like I said, if you want to be with your partner than be with him. It’s your choice. Just because you may be interested in women doesn’t mean you have to leave him. There is no rule book for this. You can do whatever makes you happy.

@Maybe,MaybeNot But if i like women, and I'm not bi and heterosexual, i can't be with him But okay, now my anxiety calm down and these thoughts don't push me so much and i understand that it was only obsessive thoughts and i don't like women

@xqrsljk That’s not true. You could only be attracted to women AND still be with him. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. But honestly if you just accept the thoughts and stop ruminating about it you will see it clearly in time. Any of us could actually be attracted to the same sex vs the sex of our partner and not realize it. We are all living with not knowing for sure.

@Maybe,MaybeNot Sorry, but I really don't understand this position,but thank you

@xqrsljk Hmm. Wishing I can help more. Sometimes it’s hard to explain things via typing though. But maybe your OCD is really fighting back on this concept! I guess my main point really is that we don’t know anything for sure. Lots of people in relationships have days where they aren’t sure if they want to stay in the relationship, if they are happy, etc. it’s super common. It doesn’t mean we have to make any drastic changes. We can just be where we are and sit with the uncertainty. Im hoping this helps. Are you in therapy? Maybe this is something you can discuss with your therapist?

@Maybe,MaybeNot About being with uncertainty, i agree with you, i mean that for example if the girl/woman is a lesbian, she should date with another girl of woman because of orientation, and if this girl/woman attracted to another females, why she should stayed in heterosexual reletaionship? I mean this About therapy I'm not in therapy and can't visit therapist now, but i hope that i will have chance to visit therapist in future

@xqrsljk sorry for mistakes😅

@xqrsljk I guess my point is that you don’t have to know for sure whether or not your are attracted to men. You could be uncertain about it forever and still stay in the relationship if you wanted to. Does that make sense? Is there something keeping you from getting therapy?

@Maybe,MaybeNot Yes, you are right, but with ocd it's hard to live with uncertainty, you know this, but i'm trying not to pay attention to this thoughts I have reasons why i can't visit therapist now, but it's related to my family

@xqrsljk Well hopefully you can find a way to make therapy work. It’s so helpful and important. But maybe you can do some self guided work too. The mindfulness workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield is pretty helpful. Also the OCD stories podcast on Spotify has lots of episodes on HOCD/ROCD

@Maybe,MaybeNot Thank you, i read the ocd workbook by Bruce Hyman