- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
It seems like a very tough situation for you, I'm sorry :( I can't look in your head but sometimes things are OCD even when we think they are not. You seem very wound up about something that I personally think non OCD people wouldn't worry about that much. I think it's absolutely okay to like someone else and even flirt with them. If you want to be with your bf and not the other guy then it doesn't matter if you flirted or not, you know who you wanna be with l, end of story. (and if you chnage your mind about that that's okay aswell) I have a bf and I find other guys attractive. I find myself in that position sometimes where my ocd is like *omg you're thinking about someone else that's so bad... * and then I just allow that thought to be there, let it act out in every detail, sometimes even suexual.. But a thought isn't a threat it's just a thought and a thought or a feeling doesn't dictate what you want or have done. So my advice for you is treat it like OCD. Bc for me at least it creeps in when I'm 100% sure it's not ocd. And it turns out to be ocd once again. Just remember you got this ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
'It makes me feel good...I feel terrible about it' It makes you feel good to talk to/hug/get attention from attractive people. You've already said you know this is perfectly normal. You feel 'terrible' about what you think it means, and how it would hurt your partner. The truth is it doesn't mean anything, other than that you're human. You're attaching meaning instead of just allowing yourself to fancy someone a bit. I get it because for years I've felt terribly guilty about things I've felt or thoughts I've had about other guys, and I've had to admit them to my partner to alleviate the guilt. But the truth is I never did anything to feel guilty about, I just enjoyed a bit of attention which is a perfectly human experience. Sometimes it takes time/distance/perspective to see these things but it will happen.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I adore my partner. There’s this other guy my ocd has been triggered by from the start. He hangs out with my friends, we used to hangout before my partner. I feel like I’m so wrong for still hanging around him in social settings. Its just fun sometimes. I have fleeting feelings and there’s kind of a flirtatious vibe? I’m scared I’ve flirted. I’m scared of the “feelings” I get even though I know feelings can have zero significance when I love my partner so much. I overanalyze everything. The guilt is overwhelming. I want to be with my partner not this other guy. I feel like a terrible partner. I know this could all be OCD why does it feel so hard. I think my brain has so much worked up over this other person no wonder I feel so much guilt. My OCD makes everything into a big deal.
- Date posted
- 13w
Hi so I have many themes of ocd and recently I found this guy attractive at work (which is fine no issue in that) however of corse my ocd gives me so many thoughts of how I’m acting around him and I even move away when he comes close because I’m scared I might touch him or he might touch me and it means I’ve cheated on my bf etc. however on my break I had the erge to talk to him more because I found him attractive so I spoke to him more. Only about his car etc but I felt more drawn to talk to him. I’m now scared I’ve cheated and this has left me bed bound for a while. Some people have said it’s cheating but those are strangers without ocd. I’m just so scared. I’m a loyal person but this one situation really scared me I need opinions if this is ocd or not
- Date posted
- 12w
I’m going to be very vulnerable in the post which is hard because I’m very ashamed of myself. I started a retail job last year in July when I was 18. I had worked as a server for like 3 months prior when I was 17. These two jobs were the first jobs I’ve ever had. My boyfriend and I had also just switched to long distance after about a year of knowing each other and 6 months of dating. Moving here is when my Rocd really started. I worked with people who I found attractive and it really freaked me out having to be near these people everyday and having to interact with them. I had never been in a position like that before ever and this is also my first real relationship. I was in one for like 6 months prior but that wasn’t as serious. I’ve always been insecure and I’ve always cared what others thought of me. I was also so used to being ugly and I was finally pretty. I started caring what cute people thought of me and I’d change the way I walked and my mannerisms to appear more attractive I guess. Once I started my retail job, a specific coworker would go out of his way everyday to interact with me. I found him attractive so I found it really difficult to interact with him and I didn’t really like it. I was mean but in a playful way and that’s how most of our interactions went. Somewhere along the way I became obsessed with the fact that I might’ve cheated or maybe I flirted or maybe I did something wrong and crossed a boundary. I went out of the way to interact with this coworker once by checking out as his register. I also cared about what he thought in regard to my appearance. I never complimented him, exchanged socials, or did anything to make myself seem single, at least that’s what I thought. I never talked about my boyfriend to him either though. It wasn’t because I wanted to appear single, i just didn’t know how to bring it up in a way that wasn’t weird. I wasn’t sure if he would flirt with me or if he was just being playful. He never said anything blatantly flirty. This made me spiral so bad that I ended up shaving my head and eyebrows to make myself ugly, then I went to the hospital. After I came back, he stoped talking to me. I did go out of my way once to talk about my boyfriend and that was like our last interaction. He didn’t even know that I had one. I did tell my boyfriend about this coworker and our interactions though. I told my boyfriend I might’ve had a crush. I’m not sure why I did that but my confessing was out of control. Then a new coworker came and I also found him cool and attractive. I’d basically be myself x10 and I’d try to be more noticeable. I wanted him to think I was cool and attractive and I wanted to be noticed which I know was wrong. I’d make my jokes louder, try to dress a little cooler, I’d draw at my register but I’d try to make it noticeable or maybe I just hoped he’d notice idk. Once I had realized I was attention seeking I completely tried to stop, to the point where I was overly aware of every single thing I did. I honestly struggled working or interacting with any guy at my work. I feel like I just convinced myself these people were attractive sometimes and I’d always become super aware of my mannerisms and I’d try to do everything in a more attractive way. My pocd also started to get really bad. It was too much to handle so I decided to apply for a job where mainly, if not only, women worked. My mental health was literally in the gutter. I’d go to the bathroom multiple times during my shifts, I’d always check my Reddit posts, I’d feel sick for days and I wouldn’t eat. Once I started my new job I noticed a big change in my mental health. I’m so much better now though I have days where I still feel sick or still feel like a horrible girlfriend/person. The problem is, I only work like 10hrs a week and I need to save up for so many things. I literally can’t afford anything right now. I’ve been applying for second jobs but I haven’t heard anything back from any place I’ve applied to over the course of 2 months and I’ve applied to so many. My old job offered me a full time position and I was only working part time when I worked there. I’d get better pay, more money, and better benefits. My boyfriend and I have also been discussing us moving in together and if I went back to my old job, we might actually be able to afford it. I just know that my mental health will be at a horrible risk though. I can’t imagine working in an environment with mostly men again, men my age. I’m scared I’ll start attention seeking and stuff again or I’ll find people attractive again. I don’t want to feel sick every day again. I’m just not sure what to do. I still attention seek whenever walking by an attractive person, like I’ll try to seem more attractive. I don’t know how to stop. I genuinely don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to like experiment or date other people. I want to be loyal and marry my boyfriend. We have so much in common and he’s such a good man.
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