- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
It seems like a very tough situation for you, I'm sorry :( I can't look in your head but sometimes things are OCD even when we think they are not. You seem very wound up about something that I personally think non OCD people wouldn't worry about that much. I think it's absolutely okay to like someone else and even flirt with them. If you want to be with your bf and not the other guy then it doesn't matter if you flirted or not, you know who you wanna be with l, end of story. (and if you chnage your mind about that that's okay aswell) I have a bf and I find other guys attractive. I find myself in that position sometimes where my ocd is like *omg you're thinking about someone else that's so bad... * and then I just allow that thought to be there, let it act out in every detail, sometimes even suexual.. But a thought isn't a threat it's just a thought and a thought or a feeling doesn't dictate what you want or have done. So my advice for you is treat it like OCD. Bc for me at least it creeps in when I'm 100% sure it's not ocd. And it turns out to be ocd once again. Just remember you got this ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
'It makes me feel good...I feel terrible about it' It makes you feel good to talk to/hug/get attention from attractive people. You've already said you know this is perfectly normal. You feel 'terrible' about what you think it means, and how it would hurt your partner. The truth is it doesn't mean anything, other than that you're human. You're attaching meaning instead of just allowing yourself to fancy someone a bit. I get it because for years I've felt terribly guilty about things I've felt or thoughts I've had about other guys, and I've had to admit them to my partner to alleviate the guilt. But the truth is I never did anything to feel guilty about, I just enjoyed a bit of attention which is a perfectly human experience. Sometimes it takes time/distance/perspective to see these things but it will happen.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I need advice. I’ve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, “I find everyone but you ugly” or “I could never find anyone else attractive.” That stressed me out morally, especially since it’s our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinking—or rather, I don’t just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I can’t tell the difference. With one person, I’ve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that I’ve fallen in love with the idea of them. That’s a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I don’t want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldn’t survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, ‘No, I wouldn’t break up with you,’ I couldn’t live with it myself. And the thing is, it’s not even such an unrealistic fear. It’s not like I’m afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic I’m dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I can’t reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what I’m afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediately—followed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because I’m afraid of being triggered. By now, I’m convinced these are my true feelings, because I just can’t imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long time—sometimes over a year. I simply don’t want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?
- Date posted
- 13w
I adore my partner. There’s this other guy my ocd has been triggered by from the start. He hangs out with my friends, we used to hangout before my partner. I feel like I’m so wrong for still hanging around him in social settings. Its just fun sometimes. I have fleeting feelings and there’s kind of a flirtatious vibe? I’m scared I’ve flirted. I’m scared of the “feelings” I get even though I know feelings can have zero significance when I love my partner so much. I overanalyze everything. The guilt is overwhelming. I want to be with my partner not this other guy. I feel like a terrible partner. I know this could all be OCD why does it feel so hard. I think my brain has so much worked up over this other person no wonder I feel so much guilt. My OCD makes everything into a big deal.
- Date posted
- 10w
Hi so I have many themes of ocd and recently I found this guy attractive at work (which is fine no issue in that) however of corse my ocd gives me so many thoughts of how I’m acting around him and I even move away when he comes close because I’m scared I might touch him or he might touch me and it means I’ve cheated on my bf etc. however on my break I had the erge to talk to him more because I found him attractive so I spoke to him more. Only about his car etc but I felt more drawn to talk to him. I’m now scared I’ve cheated and this has left me bed bound for a while. Some people have said it’s cheating but those are strangers without ocd. I’m just so scared. I’m a loyal person but this one situation really scared me I need opinions if this is ocd or not
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