Haven’t been on here for a while. I think I have a problem. My bf and I are on a break because our relationship almost ended and it’s monogamous but I find myself (which I know it’s normal to be sexually attracted to someone in general) but a coworker of mine I feel like I have a crush on cuz he’s really attractive but I feel terrible about it, and I would never say that to my partner and we aren’t even talking right now so to say that is like wow you are cheating on me, or why would you do that to me. It’s not only that but me and him have some deep conversations and he always says he is there to talk to me anytime and asked for my Snapchat and I wasn’t trying to make it seem like a fling thing at all, but it now feels like it because he sees me at work and I find myself looking forward to seeing him because it makes me feel good… I feel terrible about it and don’t know what to do and I feel like a cheater because it’s just too far and if I told him which how could I it’s over board and I am afraid he would say the same thing like oh same with me, and I’d be mad like wow you betrayed me. So anyone have advice and it’s not reassurance because this has no part in my ocd guilt it’s something that I feel like I have an issue with. Because one time a friend of mine (a guy) I hugged him multiple times because he was leaving a therapy group and it felt wrong after because like I am hugging him because it feels good and I am attracted to him.. and I don’t even talk about this stuff because I know it’s wrong and I don’t know why I do this and I fucking hate myself I don’t wanna be anything like my dad. Any input would be appreciated!

It seems like a very tough situation for you, I'm sorry :( I can't look in your head but sometimes things are OCD even when we think they are not. You seem very wound up about something that I personally think non OCD people wouldn't worry about that much. I think it's absolutely okay to like someone else and even flirt with them. If you want to be with your bf and not the other guy then it doesn't matter if you flirted or not, you know who you wanna be with l, end of story. (and if you chnage your mind about that that's okay aswell) I have a bf and I find other guys attractive. I find myself in that position sometimes where my ocd is like *omg you're thinking about someone else that's so bad... * and then I just allow that thought to be there, let it act out in every detail, sometimes even suexual.. But a thought isn't a threat it's just a thought and a thought or a feeling doesn't dictate what you want or have done. So my advice for you is treat it like OCD. Bc for me at least it creeps in when I'm 100% sure it's not ocd. And it turns out to be ocd once again. Just remember you got this ❤️

'It makes me feel good...I feel terrible about it' It makes you feel good to talk to/hug/get attention from attractive people. You've already said you know this is perfectly normal. You feel 'terrible' about what you think it means, and how it would hurt your partner. The truth is it doesn't mean anything, other than that you're human. You're attaching meaning instead of just allowing yourself to fancy someone a bit. I get it because for years I've felt terribly guilty about things I've felt or thoughts I've had about other guys, and I've had to admit them to my partner to alleviate the guilt. But the truth is I never did anything to feel guilty about, I just enjoyed a bit of attention which is a perfectly human experience. Sometimes it takes time/distance/perspective to see these things but it will happen.