- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
i had this. let me tell you. getting into my relationship and pushing through the thoughts were the best thing to ever happen to me. it practically cured my HOCD and ROCD. just make sure he/she is the right person for you
That is so great to hear!! How do i make sure that he is right for me though? I know ocd will make me doubt that
@panda101010 Thats great as well Panda!! How do you suggest working through the thoughts??
@Hopeforthefuture let ur anxiety peak and do it’s thing and don’t give into compulsions at all
@Hopeforthefuture find out by if he makes you happy. if he makes you happy and genuinely happy then he’s most likely the one. i have faith that this is the best thing for you
@sophiesim22 - great advice!
@Hopeforthefuture - can't be 100% sure even though i know you want to be! ocd will prey on this - we have to behave as though we do not need to be 100% sure. bring it back to your behaviors - your compulsions, either how you are responding to the ocd or how you aren't.
yes
How do I get it to stop? I have had ocd for years but I have never had a relationship and never experienced rocd. I don't know how to handle this theme. I knew if I had a relationship I would probably experience it but I honestly thought I would always be single and never have to worry about it 😅
@Hopeforthefuture - the differences in themes can often throw people but the treatment for ocd regardless of the theme is always the same. face your face, resist rituals, reduce avoidance when you can, practice mindfulness along the way, and try to let your values dictate your decisions rather than fear. that's obviously a super simple way of putting it and it's totally easier said than done but i believe in you!
It could be. Remember, OCD is the doubt disorder and makes you feel doubt in a lot of ways. We all have intrusive thoughts or doubts or uncertainties/worries. The problem with OCD is when we often misinterpret these worries or concerns as being legitimate, real, needing automatic fixing, feeling a sense of urgency regarding them, and intolerance of the uncertainty associated with it. When we engage in that piece of it, that's what causes anxiety and therefore the compulsions such as reassurance seeking, avoiding, breaking up etc. So in that moment when you have the doubt, it can feel REALLY REAL and perhaps legitimate - try to "park it" so to speak and continue living your values driven life, whatever that means, try to bring your awareness back to the present moment of whatever interests you at that time. Try as hard as you can to not engage with that obsessive doubt and leave it on the back burner and see how you feel after a little while.
Okay. Thank you!! So what should I do when these thoughts pop up in the moment? And how can i tell if they are real or just ocd?
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
Is it normal feeling no connection towards your boyfriend if you think you're dealing with ROCD. I was talking with my therapist last Wednesday and she asked me if I can picture a future with them for the longest time I did but now I feel like my head is trying to tell me no is that common?
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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