- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
i had this. let me tell you. getting into my relationship and pushing through the thoughts were the best thing to ever happen to me. it practically cured my HOCD and ROCD. just make sure he/she is the right person for you
That is so great to hear!! How do i make sure that he is right for me though? I know ocd will make me doubt that
@panda101010 Thats great as well Panda!! How do you suggest working through the thoughts??
@Hopeforthefuture let ur anxiety peak and do it’s thing and don’t give into compulsions at all
@Hopeforthefuture find out by if he makes you happy. if he makes you happy and genuinely happy then he’s most likely the one. i have faith that this is the best thing for you
@sophiesim22 - great advice!
@Hopeforthefuture - can't be 100% sure even though i know you want to be! ocd will prey on this - we have to behave as though we do not need to be 100% sure. bring it back to your behaviors - your compulsions, either how you are responding to the ocd or how you aren't.
yes
How do I get it to stop? I have had ocd for years but I have never had a relationship and never experienced rocd. I don't know how to handle this theme. I knew if I had a relationship I would probably experience it but I honestly thought I would always be single and never have to worry about it 😅
@Hopeforthefuture - the differences in themes can often throw people but the treatment for ocd regardless of the theme is always the same. face your face, resist rituals, reduce avoidance when you can, practice mindfulness along the way, and try to let your values dictate your decisions rather than fear. that's obviously a super simple way of putting it and it's totally easier said than done but i believe in you!
It could be. Remember, OCD is the doubt disorder and makes you feel doubt in a lot of ways. We all have intrusive thoughts or doubts or uncertainties/worries. The problem with OCD is when we often misinterpret these worries or concerns as being legitimate, real, needing automatic fixing, feeling a sense of urgency regarding them, and intolerance of the uncertainty associated with it. When we engage in that piece of it, that's what causes anxiety and therefore the compulsions such as reassurance seeking, avoiding, breaking up etc. So in that moment when you have the doubt, it can feel REALLY REAL and perhaps legitimate - try to "park it" so to speak and continue living your values driven life, whatever that means, try to bring your awareness back to the present moment of whatever interests you at that time. Try as hard as you can to not engage with that obsessive doubt and leave it on the back burner and see how you feel after a little while.
Okay. Thank you!! So what should I do when these thoughts pop up in the moment? And how can i tell if they are real or just ocd?
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
My trauma has always prevented me from pursuing a romantic relationship, I’ve always been super terrified of pursuing something with someone for just about every reason I could conjure up. Now, I’ve met someone and I’ve tried so, so hard to push away all those anxieties to make it work; but I feel like the more involved I get, I become more scared and I dwell on more things that may be signs that our “relationship” should end. I keep thinking over and over that I’m not good enough for them, I might be their “target,” they’re not right for me, our feelings are not mutual, it couldn’t work out between us, my friends and family would not approve, I’m not ready for it, etc. Recently, I tried to break things off with them because they were too tall for me. I started sobbing because I was scared that I was being and awful person and I had completely screwed everything up between us. I wanna know if this sounds like ROCD ? I always had a hunch that I could have, but I had never gotten far enough into a relationship to find out. Please feel free to ask me any clarifying questions. Right now I’m probably not making much sense haha.
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