I dont really reach out to others for help when I need it the most, but right now I am having a really tough time. And I dont mean like right now at 2:30 am, I have been struggling and really trying to keep it together for the past three weeks. A good friend( someone I have known since I was 4) is getting married this weekend and I wasn’t invited to the wedding. I am so used to not being invited to stuff by my so called lifelong friends but it really doesnt get any easier. I have almost three years clean, and struggle with depression, ADD, OCD, TRICH, and very high anxiety. I feel like since I have been this way people dont like me ( especially since I have gotten sober) and do not think I am fun or even a tolerable person to be around. Im supposed to be studying for my college exam but have absolutely no motivation and am so depressed. It is gettin harder and harder for me to plan my days or think about anything for the future I think bc subconsciously I dont see a point to any of it. It is really difficult to see pictures from that girls wedding all over social media, sadly I am used to that. What is really killing me is another good friend was at my house last week and I asked her if she was going to the wedding. She told me she wasn’t and felt bad when I told her about not getting an invite. But when I saw pictures of her there, it really tore me apart. I dont think I have any real friends, anyone close to I can really confide in. The cherry on top is my parents who I currently live with have very little patience and tolerance for me. Both of them constantly criticize and try to control me- I am 30! My mom also lashes out at me and is a bit verbally abusive- which is making me feel worse about myself. Like am I really that intolerable to be around or am I just everyones punching bag?! I just feel extremely hopeless and have no will to go on like this. I am sorry if this triggers someone I just need to get it out bc keeping it in is not helping.

I definitely feel for you, I’ve always felt like a nusiance to those around me as well. I just want to say that your mental illnesses do not define you, you are amazing and deserve decency and respect. If you’re “friends” find you boring after you decided to get clean and try and get better, they’re most definitely not your friends, I know how betrayed and hurt you must feel seeing everyone get invited and not you, but sometimes I think things like that show us who and what is their priority, and it seems like you aren’t one, and they shouldn’t be one to you. You deserve friends who are patient, understanding, and proud of how far you’ve come. Parents can be really cruel, my mom has definitely hurt me with some things she’s said, but after taking with her and having a lot of real conversations, she’s changed and is amazing, I truly can’t imagine my life without her, try talking with your parents, but if you’ve tried and nothing changed, I think that’s just up to you how to handle all that, but please, you are not a burden for your mental illnesses, it shows just how strong you are, I hope you keep going and find true friends, take care!

I know how you feel. I have felt the same way for pretty much my whole life. I was bullied by various people throughout junior high and elementary. I didn't make a single lasting friendship after 4 years of college. I feel like a lot of people think I'm a nuisance and don't really want me around. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have are amazing. I've learned to value quality over quantity. I'm also very introverted, don't trust easily and have social anxiety. It sounds like you need to find new friends. If your current friends won't accept you now that you are clean and sober then you don't need them in your life. Family relationships can be hurtful and complicated. Both of my parents have hurt me by things they have said. I love them, and they love me, but sometimes it can be a lot to deal with. Especially if I'm already struggling with my mental health.