- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hang in there my friend. You're not your thoughts. This takes time and eventually the best days will come and you'll be helping people with such thoughts.
I know it feels terrible, but leave the thought there. Watch it. Feel your feelings. You will be okay, you are not broken you have just taught your brain to distrust itself
I literally feel like if it were true I would have to die. I'm ashamed to say that but it goes against everything that I stand for. I was playing with her and she was smiling, and then it just came in my head.
Honestly I‘ve been in the exact same place as you multiple times. I always felt like IF this was really true I could never continue living. But the thing is you cannot figure this out. The only thing ruminating will do is confuse you even more. I know it hurts but to keep on damaging yourself hurts more
I get all these thoughts, "if you forget about it you must be okay with having done it", and then I also get these moments of pure bliss where I forget about it and it's like I want to self harm myself to prove I haven't done it. This condition is exceptionally manipulative.
I totally feel you on this. You’re not alone trust me I’ve been there
How do you feel now? 🥰
Thank you for remembering about me. I feel calmer, I had a very busy day. I have also made an appointment with a NOCD counsellor so I know that I need to do a tonne of work to recover from an illness I have been in denial over for many years.
Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.
PLEASE HELP ANY ANSWER WILL DO So I moved to a big city a few months earlier and it was summer, so it was hot. I slept with my window and balcony door open for air. One night, whilst i was trying to sleep, i heard what seemed to be a woman m*aning at times. At first it was annoying and was like omg stfu but it's embarrassing but soon I felt a bit aroused by it. Then, so many months later, I got a thought, what if it wasn't a woman but a child crying? And I got so terrified and I began trying to remember the memory again to remember exactly what I heard, then began looking on youtube what children sound like when they cry to make sure it wasn't what I heard. I'm absolutely terrified. I can't even check to make sure. I need help
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
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