BravoBravo
- Date posted
- 4y
rottenmossrottenmoss
- Date posted
- 4y
From my own life experience, I would say play with the idea that you may be bi. If you realize you're straight, cool, and if you realize you're bi, also cool. Worst that can happen is that you find out you don't like something new. But you can also find out there's a whole new aspect of dating and relationships that you might enjoy that you were previously unaware of. I've dated guys and girls and figured out I like both but prefer women. Honestly it hasn't affected my life that much in comparison to all the other things I live through. Society makes a huge deal about sexuality when it really doesn't matter that much. Only thing to consider is safety. If you live somewhere homophobic or have homophobic people in your life, just be careful about how much you vocalize. You can also talk to your friend who just came out. I've had a lot of queer friends and I can confidently say, telling your gay friend that you're questioning is something that he can really help you out with. Or asking other LGBT people on the internet or other friends you don't think there would be any tension on your relationship for asking. Maybe don't tell your friend you had thoughts about him specifically until you figure out yourself a little more. Regardless of what you end up identifying as, you deserve love and support. In the grand scheme of things, who we choose to love is really not that big of a deal. As long as you and your future partners are happy and you're not hurting anyone (including yourself), go for it! Humans aren't necessarily straight by nature, we're pretty flexible. At least that's what I've learned through my primate research. You might find out you still like girls after all and the thought was just a coincidence. You might find out you like both. You might find out you prefer men. It's honestly pretty fun to slowly figure out what things you like. I'm not saying immediately go out and fuck your friend, start with what you're comfortable with and just see how your brain reacts. Maybe that means doing nothing differently and keeping an open mind, maybe that means experimenting with more videos, maybe that means listening to other's life experience and finding out what resonates with you. But in my experience, trying to repress thoughts that aren't all that comfortable does nothing but hurt you. It's your life, choose to explore or not, but there's no benefit in judging your thoughts before they even happen. Good luck and remember to care for yourself first. You don't need to initiate an identity crisis now if you're not doing well already. Been there lol
adina040adina040
- Date posted
- 4y
Accepting the thoughts is your best plan of action. Intrusive thoughts will intrude, so don't treat this new one too special. That's how it traps you. You're doing great.
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Mr. Solo Dolo
- Date posted
- 21w
Relapse
Hey guys, this last week has been pretty rough for me mentally for some reason. Today in particular I’m having a pretty bad episode. For some reason about 30 minutes ago, I randomly started remembering watching the Step Up movies growing up. I remember seeing Channing Tatum in that movie and think he’s attractive, along with some other men I think. Then I started to wonder if that means that I’m into men, because I somewhat remember getting a negative feeling about it from that young age. I looked up on Google if it’s possible to not realize your gay, and the ai thing said yes and started talking about something called latent homosexuality. It also so said that some people start sleeping with a particular before ever actually discovering their sexuality. This makes me want to take a panted homosexual test, or something. Lately I’ve also been wanting to dive into my past with my therapist to try to see where my “ocd” stems from (if I even have it) or if I’m truly gay and have just be conditioned to be straight. I’ve been spiralling guys and I need was honesty and wisdom. Can anybody help me ?
ryan_12
- Date posted
- 19w
What is this ?
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 11w
HOCD can anyone relate?
Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help
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