- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
From my own life experience, I would say play with the idea that you may be bi. If you realize you're straight, cool, and if you realize you're bi, also cool. Worst that can happen is that you find out you don't like something new. But you can also find out there's a whole new aspect of dating and relationships that you might enjoy that you were previously unaware of. I've dated guys and girls and figured out I like both but prefer women. Honestly it hasn't affected my life that much in comparison to all the other things I live through. Society makes a huge deal about sexuality when it really doesn't matter that much. Only thing to consider is safety. If you live somewhere homophobic or have homophobic people in your life, just be careful about how much you vocalize. You can also talk to your friend who just came out. I've had a lot of queer friends and I can confidently say, telling your gay friend that you're questioning is something that he can really help you out with. Or asking other LGBT people on the internet or other friends you don't think there would be any tension on your relationship for asking. Maybe don't tell your friend you had thoughts about him specifically until you figure out yourself a little more. Regardless of what you end up identifying as, you deserve love and support. In the grand scheme of things, who we choose to love is really not that big of a deal. As long as you and your future partners are happy and you're not hurting anyone (including yourself), go for it! Humans aren't necessarily straight by nature, we're pretty flexible. At least that's what I've learned through my primate research. You might find out you still like girls after all and the thought was just a coincidence. You might find out you like both. You might find out you prefer men. It's honestly pretty fun to slowly figure out what things you like. I'm not saying immediately go out and fuck your friend, start with what you're comfortable with and just see how your brain reacts. Maybe that means doing nothing differently and keeping an open mind, maybe that means experimenting with more videos, maybe that means listening to other's life experience and finding out what resonates with you. But in my experience, trying to repress thoughts that aren't all that comfortable does nothing but hurt you. It's your life, choose to explore or not, but there's no benefit in judging your thoughts before they even happen. Good luck and remember to care for yourself first. You don't need to initiate an identity crisis now if you're not doing well already. Been there lol
- Date posted
- 3y
Accepting the thoughts is your best plan of action. Intrusive thoughts will intrude, so don't treat this new one too special. That's how it traps you. You're doing great.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey guys I'm 17 years old I had experience with OCD I looked trans pornography and femboy stuff I'm straight I didn't jerk off to it I was really only looking at it in the past I have but for some reason I just felt like looking at it and when I did I did experience arousal not only that while I had a boner I simultaneously was thinking of memories and bad actions I had in 4th grade with another boy I myself not a homosexual I was a kid I did something with another boy I regret it I had that thought in my head lingering there in my head but I noticed pre ejaculation and now I feel anxiety because now it feels like I was intrigued by the thought it feels like it is it was probably to the video visual stimulus but it's hard I didn't jerk off to it at all I was really just looking idk what to do it feels like I did experience it to the video but also my thoughts say to the thought idk what to do can someone shed light on this
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- Date posted
- 10w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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