every time i try to read a book i can't concentrate because of my thoughts

I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅

I don't know what to do anymore, the fear of psychosis and schizophrenia is so bad in so hyper aware of everything I hear and everything I see, I've always had eye floaters now I convince myself that it's really me hallucinating, I've always had tinnitus but now I'm convinced it means I'm going to go crazy soon, I can't sit in quiet because all I'm focusing on is what I'm hearing, and searching for any sounds I can't distinguish, when there's background noise I get so anxious if I think I heard something but im not sure I did or I'm just anxious, I'm terrified I'll start having delusions and sometimes my brain confuses some sounds for other sounds for example say I'm hyper focused and I breathe and my nose makes a whistling sound my mind interprets it as a scream and I freak out thinking I'm hallucinating only to focus closer and realize it's my own breathing, earlier I was so anxious that I couldnt tell if I had an intrusive thought or heard something, I don't know how to make it stop, I've been through this theme before I just forgot how hard it was I'm having a panic attack please help

Does anybody else experience OCD while reading? I feel like i need to remember everything in my book. And i have a feel that i need to completely understand EVEYTHING in my book (even very minor things) and if not, i feel as though im cheating or that the minor thing is very significant and that ill want to remember it even way after i finish the book (just for the purpose of knowing EVERYTHING about my book) Also, when a character says some minor things i feel the need to understand it completely or i feel the fear that i didn’t understand what the character actually meant. If youve struggled with this please give tips on how to overcome it